Monthly Archives: August 2016

The Start of Something New

Guest Blog:

Paisley’s blog is a great example of having compassion for yourself. I love how she’s embracing her issues instead of trying to just make them go away! We’ll be following your blog, Paisley.

The Over Thinker

IMG_6433 Thumbs up to me for my first post!

My name is Paisley, I’m a 19 year old student from Ontario, Canada and I have severe anxiety. My whole life I’ve been trying not to let my anxiety define me, but it recently occurred to me that after 19 years of trying to make this thing go away, it won’t. So why not embrace it? That seems to be a trend lately anyways, embracing past tragedies, scars, and physical illnesses, so why shouldn’t we start embracing our mental illness as well?

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High School Years: An Aspie Looks at the Bright Side.

I am going to a concert tomorrow that is a bit like a high school reunion. It’s an unexpected pleasure to be invited.

Any of you who have read Unforgiving, Memoir of an Asperger’s Teen will know that my high school years were not exactly a piece of cake.  But take heart: how your life turns out? Depends on you, not the people who disparage you.

Take Hilary, (not an Aspie) who is conducting her own 70th birthday symphony in a Victoria concert hall.  We went to the same school, to a lot of the same classes.

Hilary played in the band. Generally regarded as a tomboy, she was good in sports, a bright student and a great kidder.

What we didn’t know?  Hilary was already playing in a symphony.  Our music teacher who claimed to be very into classical music and even took our class to the Victoria symphony, was dismissive of her talent.  He never let us know we had a virtuoso in our class.

No matter: Hilary pursued her music anyway, making music her life’s work, teaching music in high school, singing with choirs and smaller groups, playing in symphonies around the world as well as conducting.

And the end result?  This week Hilary will have a 70th birthday concert with an orchestra and chorus comprised of more than 200 friends and fellow musicians who have worked with her over the years.

So if you really love something, as Aspies often do, and yet you feel a lack of enthusiasm in the rest of the world, as Aspies so often do, don’t give up.

If you work hard at it, enjoy it and pursue it with determination, humour and joy, there will be great rewards at the end of that rainbow.

Yours truly,

Margaret Jean.

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Aspies: Five Ways To Lower Anxiety

What is the difference between anxiety and fear?  I’ve heard it said that fear is a specific dread–for instance, you might be afraid of the man next door because you have heard he’s a pervert or because he always looks angry.

Anxiety on the other hand is the dread you experience but can’t explain.  You might be having fearful feelings but not be able to say why.  This is very challenging because not knowing where the fear comes from, means you have no way to face down the fear.

But relax.  There is help.  And I know we’ve talked about this before, but with more than fifty percent of 100,000 college students rating anxiety as their biggest issue when visiting a campus clinic, and the Canadian Anxiety Disorder Association stating that anxiety is now the number one mental health problem in Canada, this information bears repeating.

So here is help:  Five ways to fight anxiety and come out a winner.

  1. At the end of each day, think of three things that went right.  Focus your thoughts on those incidents.  Did you hand a report in, and get a good mark?  Did someone compliment you?  Did you finally make that phone call you’ve been dreading to make? Did you balance your budget?  Smile at someone who smiled back at you?  How did you make that happen?

  2. Be grateful.  Think about something you have–your health, your living space, your cat,–and be thankful for it.  It can be something as simple as a beautiful day, or rain for your garden or the sun on your face.  Feeling and expressing gratitude leads to reduced anxiety.

  3. Be kind.  Doing a good deed doesn’t just lift the spirits of the recipient of your kindness; it somehow magically transforms something inside of us to a good emotion.  And here’s the great thing–it doesn’t matter if you save someone from getting hit by a train (very anxiety producing in itself!) or if you just say hello to the lonely senior living down the street–it’s all powerful anti-anxiety medicine..

  4. Volunteer: think of some charity you’d like to lend a helping hand to, then go and sign up as a volunteer.  You’ll meet people with similar interests, see that you are better off than some people, and possibly make new friends.  At the very least you’ll have social contact and feel productive.

  5. Be compassionate to yourself.  Forgive yourself your blunders. Tell yourself you’ve learned something from that embarrassing situation and will do better next time.  try to see the humour in it, and understand that you are loveable, you are unique and you are worthy of happiness.

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