Apr 02 2024
Leave a comment
mindfulness, writing on the Spectrum

A Work In Progress

Making the Body/Mind Connection Part 3

I am trying hard to follow my own advice and be more mindful, but too often, I find that I am not. 

I find myself preoccupied with work problems and issues.  It’s high season for my seasonal work, and the demands on me are almost unbearably heavy right now.

I do not wish for my days to be entirely consumed with work. There is so much more that I want to do!

I live on the usually rainy west coast of BC, but when it is unseasonably sunny out, I need to bask in that sun for at least half an hour, just to remind myself that there’s a rewarding and joyful life available and waiting for me.

I like to both read and least listen to books, but I am reduced to only listening to audio books in the car on my way to the gym.

 Lately, I find I am not even making time to phone and chat with my friends or keep in touch with my distant cousins and relatives, some of whom count on me for support and encouragement.

I am incredibly fortunate in that I have a caring partner who plans and prepares our meals, and takes care of the light housekeeping and gardening. 

So really, my complaint, when I stop to think about it, is not about my situation, it’s about how I am dealing with it, which is a result of what’s going on in my head.

This reminds me of an article I once read, by an esteemed author named Ekhart Tolle.  He said something that really caught my interest.

He said our minds are busy clogging up our thoughts with the past and the future. This keeps us from noticing and fully living the possibilities and the pleasure of the moment we are in. 

Tolle believes that even when we feel that being in the present moment is painful, unpleasant or even unacceptable, that feeling is a judgement we are making about that moment. And just thinking in those terms, Tolle warns us, works against our best interests. 

These assessments of our situation are pronounced as unalterable facts by our mind, and Tolle posits that it is this judgement which causes us pain and unhappiness.

Tolle’s wise advice?   “Whatever the present moment brings, accept it as if you had chosen it.”  He cautions us to always work with the present and never against it. 

“Make the present moment your friend and not your enemy, and you will transform your life.”

This advice sounds powerful. Also very difficult to initiate and sustain.

Reflecting on this article, which I’ve found in my files, I realize that accepting the reality of the present moment requires practice. 

To do so without adding mental predictions of where it is taking me, or how it has affected me, or labelling it a positive or negative moment, to simply accept the moment whatever it may bring, could be the next step in my journey to mindfulness.

I must learn to live in the present moment.  To recognize what I am doing.  To be fully cognizant of my immediate situation, my environment and my body, as I am moving into the next moment.  And that the next moment is always an unknown.

I am working on it.

Tagged
Mar 24 2024
Leave a comment
awkwardness, body, body and mind, mind, mindfulness, mobility, physical self, writing on the Spectrum

United We Stand, Divided We….

Exploring the Mind/Body Connection Part 2

I am grateful to my body for all the years it has amazingly, carried me through this life. In elementary school, it helped me win races and high jump and in high school, allowed me to participate in team sports like baseball and basketball. I could act in film and on stage. I could walk for miles and often had to.  This body bore me three fine children.  And in the confines of this body, I cared for a husband with a critical heart condition. 

But ultimately, I never thought much about the physical embodiment that accompanied ‘me’ wherever I went. I stumbled, tripped, rushed, and blundered.

Alternately, I would sit for hours in an unhealthy position, lost in a book or a problem or a project.  My body was just there with me, taken for granted, unnoticed, like an unloved child in the room.

The most positive remark I can make about my attitude toward my body is that I have always been aware that mobility is crucial to a vibrant and happy life. So, this project of honouring my physical self should be a simple matter, right?

The trouble is my mind seems to be jealous.

Just when I think I’m doing well with regular breaks from the computer for movement and stretching, or going to the gym, my mind steps in and takes over, completely absorbing me for hours beyond the time I have allotted it, and once again robbing my body of its due.

Why do I live so much in my head?  Why are my thoughts a constant flow of unremitting playback and commentary? 

Why can I not enjoy a mental silence now and then?  A cessation of mental chatter, a period of serenity which would allow me to breathe more deeply, to drink in the moment, the bright purple and yellow of the primulas outside my window, the hummingbirds hovering at the feeder, the snow on the roofs across the way.

Suddenly, it becomes clear: to give my body its due, I must be able to exert some control over my mind.

My friend, Richard, an expert in mindfulness tells me it will take a conscious effort to co-ordinate my body and mind. It’s a matter of giving my physicality the mindful recognition it deserves. And treating it respectfully. 

Richard says I must learn to be still: to extricate myself from this mental rat race in which I seem perpetually absorbed.

I must deliberately engage both body and mind, he tells me, not only when motion is involved but also when it’s time to be still!

He says there is a way to harmoniously reunite my mind with my body. That I must recognize that there are no grounds for perceiving these aspects of myself as a duality. But this body/mind division seems so real to me. If he’s right, I’m not dealing with two separate entities, body and mind are intimately connected. It seems they just don’t recognize each other now.

I must introduce my body and my mind to each other.

I’m going to ask Richard to tell me more about this. What does recognizing the oneness of my body and mind look like in everyday life?  How do I practice this kind of unity? Does anyone else feel this disconnect–this separation of these two aspects of self? How do we reconnect, assuming the connection existed in the first place?

Come join me in my exploration of the mind/body connection!

Tagged , , , , , ,
Mar 17 2024
Leave a comment
Body-mind connection, mind-body awareness, mindfulness

Making the Body-Mind Connection

All my life I’ve dragged my body around behind my mind. 

I’d be sitting at the computer and suddenly think of a resource I needed from another room, or something cooking on the stove that needed tending.  And I don’t quite know how to explain this, but my mind would just start going over there.

And my body would be like “Wait for me!” as I blundered out of my chair, nearly knocking it over, possibly tripping on something, my head and shoulders bent forward, my mind literally pulling me to whatever destination I had in mind. 

I did not ever first think about what I wanted, giving my body time to collect itself and rise with dignity and move gracefully to that place.

I was a human version of a train wreck.

When I sat, hunched over my desk, leaning into my computer, my book, or my sewing.  my posture suffered. My breathing and bodily functions were affected by the scrunching up of lungs and organs.

When I ate, I inhaled my food as if I had an agenda and I was already late. 

I did not have the grace to eat slowly, to make conversation with my husband, to comment on the tastes, smells and textures of the food, the care taken with the table setting, or any other aspect of the time and effort that went into the preparation and presentation of the meal. 

As if devoid of all sensory perception and completely lacking in graceful manners, I ate, immediately got up from the table, cleared the dishes and washed and dried them.

My husband, who not only cooks fabulous meals, but believes in candlelight, tablecloths and flowers as normal dinner table settings, was left sitting alone in his chair,

As a young girl it had been drilled into me that a clean kitchen was the hallmark of a good wife and mother, and since I had so much to do, the sooner it was cleaned up, the better. Right?

Lately, I have made a substantial effort to change.  I have decided, late as it is in my life, to acknowledge my body as a vital, omnipresent part of me, and to give it due time and attention.  But how?  After a lifetime of neglect, it’s going to take a big rethink.    

Tagged ,
Mar 10 2024
Leave a comment
Positive Aspects of Life on the Spectrum, Teaching

Sheila’s Story:

Positive Effects of Neuro-divergent Thinking.

In this series of blogs, we are looking at the innovative approach and empathic attitude that Sheila, a Certified Educational Assistant who is on the spectrum, brings to teaching in her classroom.

In the previous blog, she taught her learning-challenged student to do math using a line-drawing on the schoolground.  For the first time in four years of schooling, the student was able to correctly complete a math worksheet on her own, working from the school yard line drawing.  Sheila’s challenge now is to translate that ability into a process that will work in the classroom.  The story continues in her own words.

I copied a number line onto a piece of paper, thinking she could use a marker to count up the lines.

It was a complete disaster. She did not seem to understand any part of it.

“Don’t worry” I told her, “This is not your problem. I’m going to figure out something different and we’ll try again tomorrow.”

The only thing I could think of was that the number line was the traditional horizontal line that most students use. I converted it to a vertical number line, and she was able to use it without a problem.

After a week of using the vertical number line successfully, I brought out the horizontal one and we talked about it. Eventually she was able to transfer what she had learned on the vertical line and successfully apply it to the horizontal line.

Through the repetitive use of the number line, she learned how the numbers in addition and subtraction related to each other. This led to her ability to transfer that information so that she was able to add and subtract using her fingers.

Progress has been slow but steady and she can now add or subtract any two lines of numbers. She can also multiply any number by another one digit number.

 In my work I seek information, materials or support from anyone I deem helpful. Speech therapists are sometimes required. In other situations, kindergarten and grade one teachers who are willing to share resources they have used to help much younger children learn, are invaluable assets.

I sometimes have to invent materials when new approaches are required.  As a result, I’ve become increasingly adept at designing and writing new programs for these students.

Some colleagues wonder why my classrooms are always quiet.  I tell them: “The students work hard to finish their assignments because they know when they finish, I always have a five minute ‘free time’ activity prepared for them.  It’s a fun thing we like to do at the end of the class.

I stay with the students during their fun time and we talk about the game or activity they’re doing, along with their work and how their day went. I always know what my students are thinking about their work, because they talk to me.”

Sheila’s early experiences as a single mom on government assistance with a high-functioning autistic child, combined with her natural ability, compassion and authoritative presence led her to a career as an Educational Assistant. 

But it is Sheila’s neuro-divergent thinking which enables her to explore unusual avenues, facilitating successful outcomes for her challenged students.

“My desire for these students is always first and foremost, Success!” Sheila says, “I want them to experience success, and I’m going to bring everything to the table, everything I’ve got to help make that happen.”

Tagged , , , , , , ,
Mar 03 2024
Leave a comment
Autism Spectrum & Career Excellence, Autistic and empathetic, Certified educational assistants on the job, teacher's aides, The autistic child at school

Innovative Approaches to Learning Disabilities.

Positive Aspects: Sheila’s Story continued.

This blog continues the story of Sheila, a Certified Educational Assistant. Because of her own autism and that of her son, along with the challenges her son faced in his early schooling, Sheila is empathetic and highly motivated to find individualized solutions for her students.  In this instance, she was working with a grade four female student who is unable to correctly add single digit numbers up to twenty without support. The story continues in Sheila’s own words:

I knew that teachers had tried picture math sheets, number lines, counting strips, base ten blocks, primary abacus, counters, ten frames, rote drills and more, all to no avail.

What else could there be? I turned it all over in my mind for about a day. What did the majority of these methods have in common? The answer – they used fine motor skills. What was the opposite of fine motor skills? Gross motor skills.

Walking, running, skipping, jumping, hopping are all examples of movements which use gross motor skills. How could I effectively apply that to addition?

My initial goal was for her to be able to complete a simple worksheet adding numbers to a sum no higher than 20 with 90% accuracy.

Hopping, jumping and skipping would become tiring very quickly and were not really compatible with a worksheet.

Walking seemed the most reasonable. I envisioned walking a number line with numbers up to 20 spaced a comfortable step apart.

This was going to take up a lot of room. Outside had the most space, but the weather was pretty wet so I found a section of the wall under the eaves that had no windows.

The number line was drawn in chalk and looked like a ladder with one side taken off. Numbers from 0 to 20 were written beside each rung.

Once the student had been shown the number line and what it represented, I had to teach her how to use it. I began with an equation my student already knew.

I asked her to stand at the bottom of the ladder on the “0” rung and said,

“We are going to add 1 + 1. So take a step to the line with the number 1.” She did. “Good”, I said, “Now, we are adding one more so we need to take one more step. Take a step to the next line. Good. Look at the number beside the line you’re standing on. What is it?”

“Two” she responded.

“What is 1+1?” I asked her.

“Two,” she quickly replied.

“Right! And what is the number beside the line you’re standing on?”

She looked down at the number then back at me and thoughtfully answered, “Two.”

We then repeated the procedure using 1+2, with the additional information that we always start at the largest number in the equation.

The next day, I made two copies of a worksheet and gave the student one on a clipboard with a pencil. I verbalized the process for each equation and the student carried out the instructions.

In the following days, little by little, I had the student verbalize the process until she could do it independently.

Although this task seems simple, there are multiple facets.

  1. Finding the equation on the page, remembering you need to look at the largest number first,
  2. Determining what is the largest number,
  3. Finding the number on the line and then standing on it,
  4. Referring to the equation on the page to see what number you’re adding,
  5. Walking the correct number of lines,
  6. Finding the number on the line you’re on,
  7. Remembering the number while once again locating the equation so you can then write it down.

My student enjoyed this process and she worked hard.

I remember the first time she did the worksheet independently. I sent her out while I stayed in to work on a trumped-up task.

I reflected back to when I first read the file on her, to how discouraging it must have felt for her to be unable to participate in Maths with the other kids. How she not only couldn’t do it right, she could not do it at all.

And now, without any help from me or her peers, she was out there doing it!

When she finished, she marched into my room, handed me that worksheet, and she was just beaming with pride!  It was the first time in four years she was able to independently and correctly complete an addition worksheet.

What amazing success!  But Sheila’s journey with this student was not over yet.  In next week’s blog we learn how Sheila translates this method of learning to a process that will work in the classroom.

Tagged
Feb 25 2024
Leave a comment
Autism Spectrum & Career Excellence, Positive Aspects of Life on the Spectrum, The autistic child at school

Positive Aspects: Sheila’s Story continued.

In the previous two blogs, I’ve entertained positive aspects of non-neuro typical thinking, and presented the back story of Sheila, a single mom who found that both she and her young son were on the autism spectrum. This begins the story of the mindset Sheila brings to her work as a teacher’s aide, and the empathic understanding through which she views her students. The following is part three of Sheila’s story, told in her own words.

Once the school finally had the information they needed to support my son, I decided to join the workforce again.  But I needed to find a profession. Teaching was a direction I’d been encouraged to pursue since elementary school and was one which held a very strong appeal. Since the reality was that I had limited financial resources and a special needs son who demanded time and attention, a Certified Educational Assistant (CEA) seemed like a good fit for me and a more reasonable option.  Grants paid for the college and university classes I needed, and I was able to complete the course at a pace that worked for my son.

When I am assigned a student, I am aware that often many aides and teachers have already tried a wide variety of learning tools and resources to support the student’s ability to understand and integrate information or concepts. In other words, to “learn”.

With the groundwork that has already been done there is a lot of information about which approaches have not succeeded, as well as a list of interests, strengths and even passions that the student is able to contribute to the process.

Having studied the file, I turn to the child. I look for patterns of behaviour and sparks of interest and consider how these can be intercepted and guided toward opening new channels of insight and communication.

In one instance, a grade four student was unable to correctly add single digit numbers up to twenty without support. This was something I had never encountered before. After a brief assessment with the student, I saw that she could count past 100 and easily recognize numbers. She knew 1+1=2 and 1+2=3 but did not know what 1+3 equaled.

I thought about this student’s classroom experience, what it would be like to watch your peers work independently and with only a little help, get the right answers. And all you can do is sit there, frustrated and anxious, staring at the numbers, struggling to grasp the process, all the time thinking “I just don’t get it!”

The school was giving me the resources and the opportunity to assist this child, and I was determined to help her. To find the key that would unlock the door to some level of success.

Sheila’s innovative approach and her student’s learning process follow in the next Blog.

Tagged ,
Feb 11 2024
Leave a comment
Autism Spectrum & Career Excellence, Books on Autism, Positive Aspects of Life on the Spectrum, Rudy Simone, Aspergirls, The autistic child at school

Positive Aspects of Life on the Spectrum: Sheila’s Story.

In this blog series, I am presenting lives that express the ways in which not being Neuro Typical is a career asset.  Thinking outside the box is normal for people on the autism spectrum. In certain circumstances this attribute of our condition can be beneficial. 

To continue Sheila’s story, begun in the previous blog, I will first relate some background information, along with some early practices she implemented. These temporary solutions to her son, Seamus’ social and learning problems ultimately led to her ability to explore unique and innovative methodology, which will be discussed in the next blog in this series. 

Sheila’s school experience was successful both academically and socially. However, later circumstances rendered her a single mom on welfare with an autistic child, Seamus.

As a result, Sheila experienced the understanding of how frustrating life can be for both parent and child, when someone is trying their best, socially and academically, and yet, is largely unsuccessful at one or both.

Seamus was a loving boy, but he found socializing at school impossible. Ostracized and bullied, he could never join in any games, and he had no friends to ‘hang’ with at lunch or recess. Sheila decided to see how she could help.

Every lunch hour she joined Seamus on the playground. Standing with him, she would ask, “Who wants to play baseball?” Invariably several children would crowd around.  “Alright,” she’d say, “There’s only one rule, and that is, Seamus gets to play.”

At first, the other children would eye each other speculatively, and Sheila worried that no-one would accept her invitation.  But then, to her relief, someone would shrug and agree to play and soon, enough kids had joined in for a make-up game.

The ‘Seamus ball game’ soon became a popular lunch time activity! Sheila would also stay later on occasion to help in the classroom if Seamus was having a problem with the work. Her organized approach, ability to quickly assess a situation through Seamus’ eyes and her friendly but authoritative air made her an asset in the classroom.

In the late 1990’s, not a lot was known about the autism spectrum, especially the high end kids who seemed to have no trouble learning but couldn’t manage their social life. After countless incomplete diagnoses, from leaky gut to ADD and ADHD, Sheila felt at a loss. She didn’t like the effect of the medications prescribed for her son, and he didn’t either, often refusing to take them.

One day, after attending a conference on autism, a teacher from Seamus’ school phoned Sheila.   I think I know what Seamus has, she told Sheila. When given a list of the symptomatic behaviours, Sheila recognized to her surprise, that it was not only Seamus who was on the spectrum–she was on the spectrum, too! This self-knowledge opened up a wide range of concerns and possibilities for both Sheila and her son.

In her book, Aspergirls, Rudy Simone states that for adults, being diagnosed can be a relief. A diagnosis for a child can also bring relief for parents like Sheila, who until Seamus’ diagnosis did not know where to turn for helpful information. In the years before Sheila was diagnosed, her focus was on helping Seamus.

Little was known about how to help those on the high end of the spectrum, then known as Asperger’s. With the help of his school staff, his family doctor, and Sheila’s campaigning, Seamus was able to access a facility for testing.  Once he was diagnosed, funding became available for special programs and activities for him. 

Every dime had to be accounted for, and it could only be spent on the special needs or activities for him, Sheila recalls.

Sheila’s experience with her son provided her insight into similar situations. She understands the frustration of having a child who neither learns nor interacts in the same way as their peers. She has gained the power of finding those keys which open doors for students who feel stymied by the different ways their brain works.

Success is what these kids need to experience. Sheila tells me, referring to both behavioural and learning issues. Helping her students find the self-confidence that will allow for success, is the motivating factor in her work.

Tagged , , , , , , , ,
Jan 29 2024
Leave a comment
Adults on the Spectrum: Work, Relationships and Play, Autism Spectrum, Autism Spectrum & Career Excellence, Autism spectrum: challenges at work, Greta Thunberg, Temple Grandin

A Positive Aspect of Life on the Spectrum.

In a previous post, Viewing Asperger’s Through a Different Window, I considered the possibility that some aspects of being on the spectrum make us more capable in certain situations, not less.

I’d like to further explore that position in this blog.  

Being on the spectrum has the advantage of enabling us to see events from a focused, objective perspective, one which is devoid of much of the emotional, social ‘baggage’ which often burden neural typicals.

From this distinctive, intellectually isolated position, we are able to recognize the ‘essence’ of scientific and political dilemmas which, when no longer ‘wrapped up’ in irrelevant social diplomacy, are much simpler to resolve.

We see significant examples of this in Elon Musk, Greta Thunberg, and Temple Grandin, people whose unique perspectives have promoted both awareness of and possible solutions to critical environmental and industrial challenges currently impacting all of humanity.

If you are on the spectrum, you may wish to consider whether your ‘lack of alignment’ with decisions being made for all of us by neural typical politicians and industrialists is because you are somehow ‘deficient’, or rather because you are better positioned to recognise, isolate and promote workable solutions to complex issues.

There is a difference in the way the human brain processes incoming information in neural typicals vs those on the spectrum. Our uniqueness allows us a different outlook on problems and often, a unique approach to them.  Our lack of emotional or social involvement encourages us to see issues objectively, and therefore to approach solutions rationally. 

 You may wish to discuss this with acquaintances who are also on the spectrum. You may be surprised at how others share both this viewpoint, and the frustration which arises from being marginalized.

 Once you are receptive to the notion of a positive influence resulting from the differing neurological processes, you will find no shortage of examples of the benefits of this unique perspective,

Sheila is one such person who brings a unique talent to her work.

Sheila is an Educational Assistant who, in her 20 year career, has worked with educationally challenged children ranging from kindergarten through high school. 

Early on, her talent for this work was discovered to be exceptional, and subsequently she often finds herself assigned the students with the most serious limitations, ranging from behavioural issues to those with significant brain differences..

In my next blog posting I will explore some specific, unique approaches that Sheila uses with great success.

You will see how, when her autistic mind identifies and isolates problems, successful solutions inevitably follow. You may find that they resonate with you. You may even find them quite fascinating!

Tagged , , , , , ,
Jan 20 2024
1 Comment
Adult Aspies and Social situations, Adults on the Spectrum: Work, Relationships and Play, Autism Spectrum, Autism spectrum: challenges at work

Burning Bridges

While everyone finds it difficult to determine who can be trusted, it is especially so for those of us on the spectrum.

We are often unaware of intentions indicated by visual clues like body language, eye movement and facial expression. This inability can make us vulnerable, and too often the brunt of mean spirited, self-serving individuals.   

Others may purposely set us up, taking something they know we said in innocence, or jest, purposely repeating it to others out of context so as to make it sound harmful, cruel or vindictive. At best in the hope of personal gain, or worst, out of pure maliciousness.

In casual conversation with others we may make a sarcastic, but light hearted, innocuous, remark like, “Right! Because we all know Mary is so lazy!  Not!”  Soon the rumour circulating in the office is that you said Mary is lazy. You cannot deny that literally you did say that Mary was lazy, even though you meant to playfully convey the opposite.

Incidents like this are why those of us on the spectrum will often think carefully about what to say before speaking.  This pre-speech ‘pause’ can be misinterpreted by neural typicals as an indication that we are not interested in responding. The fact is we are thinking our way through to a socially appropriate response.  

Who to trust?  We cannot guard our every word. There will always be others who prey upon our ‘differences’ with selfish motives.  

Our best defence is to speak honestly, in a clear, straightforward manner, simply stating our intention.  In this way we can avoid the temptation to overly qualify or clarify what we have said, after the fact.  

It is important to always speak with goodwill.  But it is equally important to be careful about who you engage in conversation.  That person you joked with about Mary?  Future conversations with that individual must be limited to factual information, devoid of social playful banter.

Having difficulty making friends means we will often excuse people’s bad behaviour to keep the ‘friendship’ alive.  But this is setting ourselves up for constant betrayal.

Certain conversational topics are great gateways through which to get to know others. 

General topics, like the weather, TV shows, books, or current events can ease us into a new social relationship. Personally revealing conversation can be ammunition for self-serving bullies.

Save confidences for later, when you have had time to evaluate the trustworthiness of your new friends.

In her book, Aspergirls, Rudy Simone urges those on the spectrum to defend themselves “with tact and strength”.  She further counsels us to be constantly aware of the unpleasant personality traits possessed by certain people in our lives.

If you find yourself ostracized by others as a result of deliberate misinformation spread by an ignorant individual, there is little you can do to defend yourself.

In stressful situations such as these, Simone suggests that you take the ‘high road’, displaying as little overt anger, and as much grace as you can muster, in order to retain your personal integrity and self-respect.

“Remember the three R’s,” she counsels. “References, recommendation, and reputation.” You may need to maintain all three in order to have the life you desire. 

Tagged , , , , , , ,
Jan 13 2024
3 Comments
Autism Spectrum, Autism Spectrum diagnosis, writing on the Spectrum

Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

An Empowering Read for Women on the Autism Spectrum

I appreciate Rudy Simone’s acknowledgement that sometimes our social behaviours result in “botched interactions” causing feelings of guilt and self-blame. We on the spectrum have all had those experiences!

I learned that I was on the spectrum when my grandson was diagnosed. My daughter phoned me, very excited, and added, “And Mom, you and I also have all the symptoms!”

It was a joyful and terrifying moment. Joyful because suddenly there was an explanation for my horrific record of social blunders. Terrifying because it meant that I had been stumbling blindly through school, marriages and child-rearing without the benefit of this knowledge.

The awareness gave me the gift of compassion for myself. As Simone says in Aspergirls, diagnosis comes with a sensation of relief. 

I would like to say that I stopped feeling inadequate in that moment, but like the women in Simone’s book, and as anyone on the spectrum knows, that fear of being found lacking in social situations does not suddenly vanish.

Still, I’ve found that sense of insecurity can sometimes be useful. Feeling uncertain can make me hesitant at times, a caution which allows me to reassess a situation and perhaps even quickly think through and revise my initial instinctive response.

Simone notes that not being diagnosed invites all kinds of speculation, including unflattering and insulting conclusions about what our ‘problem’ is. 

People will often assume that our lack of social propriety is intentional. Or, seeing that we are vulnerable, some folks can’t resist the cruel opportunity to take advantage of our inability to appropriately defend ourselves in social situations, perhaps even to elevate their own social status in the eyes of their peers.

I found Simone’s book reassuring, in that she not only writes about her own experience, but also presents the comments and experiences of other ‘Aspergirls’. 

She covers a wide range of topics, from dating, sex and relationships, including ending those relationships (burning bridges), along with bullying at school, managing employment situations, stimming behaviours and sensory overload. Each chapter contains personal anecdotes, research and information, and ends with advice to Aspergirls and their parents.

Aspergirls is not only informative, it is a book that will make any girl on the autism spectrum feel at home in its pages, which will help parents, siblings and significant others to perhaps see the world from our point of view.

Tagged , , , , , , ,
Feb 01 2022
Leave a comment
Adult Aspies and Social situations, An Asperger Point of View, Asperger's research, writing on the Spectrum

Viewing Asperger’s through a Different Window.

John Elder Robison, who has Asperger’s, writes prolifically on Autism. He volunteered to undergo an experimental treatment which involved being subjected to magnetic stimulation of targeted areas of his brain.

There have been extensive studies on Asperger’s by neurophysiologists during the past 30 – 40 years. During the past 15 – 20 years, the emphasis has been upon the difference in utilization of the Cerebral cortex and the Amygdala aspect of the Cerebellum between neurotypicals and those on the Autism Spectrum.

These studies reveal how information with an emotional content, especially when personally conveyed, is largely processed in the Cerebral cortex by those with Asperger’s rather than in the Amygdala where it is processed by neurotypicals.

The result is those of us on the autism spectrum process information with emotional content logically, rather than emotionally.

However, the richer the contextual content associated with the information, the greater the ability of Aspies to ‘understand’, even if they cannot ‘directly experience’ the emotion being expressed.

In the experimental treatment in which Robison participated, he didn’t immediately notice any difference.

But the next day, when he interacted with others, he was unexpectedly overwhelmed by an almost ‘psychic’ awareness of their emotions. 

He was assailed by emotions of “jealousy, fear, anger and every bad thing I could imagine” (Neale). It was an unexpected torrent of emotions which he experienced as shocking and distressing.

This situation, one of being admitted to an emotional landscape which is usually unavailable, puts me in mind of Virginia Woolf’s comment in A Room of One’s Own about patriarchal rules in Oxbridge. At the library, she was refused entrance because of being a woman.

In social situations, as a person with autism syndrome, I feel as Woolf did “…how unpleasant it is to be locked out;” (18).  

But when I am composing a poem like Exonerating Eve which expresses such a divergent but powerful viewpoint, then, like Woolf, I cannot help but ponder the alternative, as she did when she added, “… and I thought how it is worse perhaps to be locked in;” (18).

Aspies, such as myself, come to realize early in our lives that we are somehow ‘locked out’. We learn to accept this and to make social inroads where we may.

But Robison’s experience indicates that our lack of social/emotional understanding is a ‘locking out’ that is at least in some respects beneficial, allowing us to experience the world in a way that, while ingenuous, is also unique and  insightful.

And thus I present my poem:

EXONERATING EVE

I know why Eve ate the apple

Picked and tasted forbidden fruit.

Locked in her Eden she hungered for more,

wanted proof that her life would not always be
just wandering the garden, a helpmate to Adam,

a servant to God.

In her heart she yearned for more than the beauty,

More than the silence. More than obedience.

Something within called her to challenge

the ‘perfection’ of a life established by God. 

Accepted by Man. 

Did The Creator witness her anguish? Did He
inspire her desire for more?

Gifting free will to all of humanity,

did He await our wakening thrill?

Did He seek a braver companion than one who
obeyed without question or zeal?

Was He astounded when it was the woman,

The feminine one who plucked and then peeled 

The Fruit that triggered a flood of passion
and reason, Wherein she
shrugged off obedience and now saw
her truth?

 Newly aware, she sees in her nudity 

All that is vulnerable and desirable to men. 

Looking out at the garden she sees the reality, 

thorns and thistles suddenly visible.

And within her, awareness of a strong inner spirit,

God-given,
to prepare her for the journey that she now begins.

Eve ate the fruit to be free from the fallacy

That her life was perfect. 

She dared to be more than that helpmate.

More than that servant.

To live in a garden that was an Eden no more.

A garden that now she perceives as a jungle.

A garden that asks her spirit to grow. 

A garden with pathways to be forged

and then trodden.

A life posing questions, needing answers,

Revealing wonders, unveiling horrors. A life to be
probed. A will to be tested.

Searching for truth, for reason and passion,

She reaches up, plucks The Fruit from the tree.

And in that critical, wonderful moment,

Plunges mankind into uncertainty, Drawing us
all out of complacency.

 Here in the midst of this pandemic, I understand
a woman like Eve.

As I sit and reflect on the life I’ve created,

I challenge myself to find more of me.

To ask the hard questions, to reach for the truth. 

To find in myself the courage to ask 

the questions that, unanswered leave me unproved.

To reach for the core, the richness of life. Face my own
fears, grapple with and tame them.

While I have time. While I am here, locked in this life Some would
call Paradise.

Yes. I have come to know why Eve ate that apple.

4:53 AM

Tagged ,
Dec 17 2021
Leave a comment
Aspies and Bullying, bullying

Bullied because we’re different: ‘Different’ includes ‘Exceptional”!

In Mexico, a child named Adhara Perez was bullied, called ‘weirdo’ and ‘oddball’.  In one incident, her ‘playmates’ locked her in a playhouse, while taunting her relentlessly for being ‘different’.

These attitudes are all too familiar to children with Asperger’s.

Even as adults, it can seem that the harder we try to fit in socially, the more we subject ourselves to painful disdain when our efforts only exacerbate our difference.

But what about those of us who find acceptance as we are?

The best possible scenario is when a parent or a spouse sees the positive aspects of our ‘syndrome’.  This is what happened with Adhara Perez.

Her mother, witnessing the playhouse incident, vowed that Adhara would never have to suffer such humiliating treatment again.

She consoled Adhara, encouraging her through therapy and subsequent tests which revealed that Adhara actually had an astounding IQ!  That was at the age of four.

Part of her mother’s determination that Adhara should never again be subjected to bullying was the decision to take her out of school, where  bored and depressed, Adhara often slept through her classes. 

After her amazing intellect was discovered, Adhara began studying in a non-traditional manner.  She graduated from high school at age 8, and is currently working on two degrees, Systems Engineering and Industrial Engineering in Mathematics. 

When we consider the lives of children with Asperger’s whose parents have stood by them, we see an illustration of the extraordinary benefits they can bring to the world.

Two women come immediately to mind:  First, Temple Grandin, who has championed the humane treatment of livestock en route to slaughter. As well, Grandin has written scientific treatises on animal behaviour and several books[1] including one about the autistic brain.

Secondly, Greta Thunberg, who has shaken up the world by forcing us towards a greater recognition of the disastrous effects that environmental pollution will have upon both present and future generations.

What does Adhara advise people who find themselves in hateful situations?

Never give up! And if you’re in an intolerable situation you despise? Then formulate concrete plans to move yourself forward into a better situation.

Let’s all do ourselves a great favour by remembering: ‘different’ need not be a negative attribute. It includes those who are gifted with insights which are unavailable to the vast majority of those with normal cognitive function, as the ‘normal’ brain is too often passively unquestioning, and thus unable to visualise, sustain and actualize alternate possibilities. 

[1] Grandin wrote several books, including Emergence: Labeled Autistic (1986; with Margaret M. Scariano), Thinking in Pictures, and Other Reports from My Life with Autism (1995), and The Autistic Brain: Thinking Across the Spectrum (2013; with Richard Panek). Calling All Minds: How to Think and Create Like an Inventor (2018) was for younger readers. She also edited and contributed to the volume Genetics and the Behavior of Domestic Animals (1998).

Tagged , , , , ,
Oct 20 2021
Leave a comment
An Asperger Point of View, Autism & the Environment, Greta Thunberg

Aspies: How We Interact With Our World

I have always known that those of us with Asperger’s see the world differently. Perhaps more intensely than others see it.

Sometimes our Asperger’s can provide a unique viewpoint, enabling us to see events from a more focused and vital perspective, and from this distinctive intellectual position, create avenues for provoking change.

Take, for instance, Greta Thunberg, who views environmental issues with great clarity. Thunberg was able to focus on her local environmental situation and with great determination, work to effect change in her community.

Greta’s single-minded conviction that action needed to be taken if the youth of today were to inherit a world in which the reduction of pollution and restoration of natural resources was of prime importance, stirred people to action around the world.

Because of her insistence that something be done, beginning in her home, then in her community, then in the larger, global community, Thunberg has effected tremendous change in the social and legal responsibilities of some nations toward environmental issues.

There is a rather astounding blog by Mark Hutton, My Asperger’s Child, in which he details a fifty positive traits which he associates with his child. (myaspergerschild.com)

Among these traits are the following:

Being conscientious, reliable and persistent.

Having a lot of passion when pursuing activities with which they engage.

Bringing a new, highly original perspective to problem solving.

Not recognizing hierarchies; evaluating people upon their intentions & actions, not their ‘positions’.

Displaying honesty

Possessing high integrity.

Having exceptional memories.

These characteristics are not only positive but are essential qualities when dealing with the complexities of international relations.

Consider how they have aided Thunberg in her goal of changing how the citizens of the world view the possibility of changing national and international attitudes toward environmental issues.

Not recognizing hierarchies is a plus if you are a teenager meeting people in power without being intimidated by their status.

Having an exceptional memory is important when you are quoting statistics, and bringing vital issues to the attention of international forums.

These positives are only a few Hutton names; for a complete list go to his blog or to https://aspergersvic.org.au/page-18136

Tagged
Jul 05 2021
Leave a comment
Adult Aspies and Social situations, anxiety, building and maintaining relationships, conversational anxiety aspergers

An Adult Aspie Looks at Friendship

Having trouble making friends? For people on the spectrum, this is a common situation. A recent study indicated that of the participants, more than half the children with ASD did not have a single close friend. How does a person learn to live with that?

I have been fortunate to have one or two friends who have remained constant. But mostly? Friends come and go.

My approach to friendship is different from that of people who seem to know all the rules of bonding and building peer relationships.

Occasionally, people come to have some meaningful connection with me, and then, for the most part, sooner or later drift away. And that’s okay because they always leave me emotionally richer, with lessons learned and experiences shared that I would not have otherwise had.

I have let go of my expectations of a life-long friendship when my life intersects with others. If we have no interests in common, or not enough to sustain a typical friendship, that’s ok.

Not forming a lifetime bond with others is not a failure.

I see my role as bringing light into their path just by virtue of being me.  I want to offer them a gift, introducing an upbeat, pleasant moment into their day. I may do this in many ways: with kindness, validation, humour or encouragement.

I see our meeting as a connection, not a life-long commitment.

I believe connecting with someone new occurs at a meaningful time for both of us, and that we are each somehow important in that moment for the other, assisting each other along whatever path we are individually, or jointly, travelling.

It is not for me to judge others, to work to improve the people who come into my life, or to see if we can converse comfortably for hours … although it is always a pleasant surprise when a lengthy, satisfying conversation occurs! 

Actually, shorter connections feel safer for me, I can avoid having to analyse whether what we have discussed or disclosed is really appropriate.

Just a connection that however fleeting, will be rewarding in the moment, and remembered with pleasure.

That’s not so hard to live with!

Tagged , ,
May 17 2021
Leave a comment
Einstein, Aspies & Divergent Thinking

Einstein, Aspies, Outsiders & Creative Enlightenment.

Consider Einstein… We need not be geniuses of Einstein’s calibre in order to appreciate how his divergent thinking led to scientific breakthroughs and facilitated significant social and artistic enlightenment.

Like us Aspies, Einstein loved solitude. Walter Isaacson reports in his biography Einstein, that as a child Einstein would often sit alone, working on puzzles, creating complex structures with his building set or playing with his steam engine.

Max Talmud, a young medical student who visited the Einstein home regularly, reported that he never saw Einstein playing with other boys his age. It seemed that Einstein preferred to think through mathematical problems and theorems, and to ponder the mysteries of nature, in isolation.

As a result of spending so much thoughtful time alone, working through problems that intrigued him, Einstein had an empowering revelation at age twelve. He grasped that through reasoning alone, without the help of any external experience, it was possible to ascertain fundamental truths.

Being an outsider is the very quality which enabled Einstein to posit so many ground-breaking theorems.

His ability to conceive of the operating laws of space, time and gravity were only possible because he had the intellectual range as well as the moral courage to question established scientific ‘truths’ such as Newtonian Law, which hitherto had been the cornerstone of physics.

But, the key to the recognition of his brilliant accomplishments was not only Einstein’s intellect and aloofness. Equally important was sharing his ideas and observations within the existing structure of the scientific community, proposing ways in which his theorems could be tested by others. In this way, his work was honed to perfection.

If he had been working on his theorems alone, with no support from the scientific community, his work would doubtless not be renowned today.

If you have a passion, pursue it! Connect with others who are as interested and creative as yourself.

Sharpen your mind by clearly conceptualizing the ideas which arise from your passion, then share them so they can be explored, tested, appreciated and validated by others.

Be sure you fully understand what you are embracing and promoting.

Einstein had the respect of his peers not because he was popular, (he wasn’t at first), but because he was intelligent, honest and loyal. He developed a close association with two or three intellectuals, and it was through the garnering of their respect and loyalty that his theorems were able to be proven and widely accepted.

While Einstein needed solitude to develop his theories and the proofs which would validate them, he understood that he also needed a broad social network–the entire scientific community. Scientists in England, Holland, Switzerland and Germany helped him prove aspects of his Theory of Relativity.

Likewise, we Aspies need solitude to ponder, define and organize our thought processes, to connect intuitively with compelling ideas and notions which resonate with us.

But we also need the appropriate social network to help us refine, test and ultimately validate our intellectual endeavours.

When his theory of relativity was proven beyond any doubt by a British astronomer in Holland, Einstein merely commented:

“The intimate union between the beautiful, the true and the real have again been proved. It is a gift from gracious destiny that I have been allowed to experience this…”

Besides his intellect, Einstein’s two greatest assets were his unique childlike and intuitive curiosity about the universe, and his sense of humility, reflected in his charm and his humour.

Hmmm … perhaps Einstein was an Aspie too … 

MJ Adam & RS Warrington
Feb 14 2021
Leave a comment
Autist Activists, Autistics Loving yourself, Current research Including the autistic voice, research and the autistic viewpoint.

PROMOTING THE AUTISTIC VOICE

Today is Valentine’s Day, a perfect day for Aspies everywhere to give themselves the gift of loving acceptance. 

Today is the day to discover that autists are making waves, promoting our Autistic voices by demanding that research begin to focus on the positive instead of the negative features of autism.  It is a day to recognize those individuals and organizations who are working toward changing the way that research into autism is conducted.

They are people like Vivian Ly[i], whose slogan is Nothing About Us Without Us.

Ly says that Applied Behavioural Analysis can be compared to autistic masking behaviours.  Her position is that people with autism need to be accepted as they are, and not programmed to fit into more societally acceptable ‘normal’ slots.  She is also outraged by researchers and organizations that attempt to speak for autistics.  We have voices.  We can speak for ourselves, Ly states.

Another autist, Kieran Rose, has along with Amy Pearson published a paper on why autists camouflage their behavior, and how harmful to the psyche this can be.  Published in the academic journal, Autism in Adulthood, Kieran’s article on masking analysis is free to read at the URL given below[ii].  He also has a blog, The Autistic Advocate, if you’d like to check it out.

Michelle Dawson[iii] is an autistic person who has fought both legal and academic battles for the rights of autistic people.  In spite of never attending university as a student, she has presented to and influenced decisions in the Supreme Court of Canada, worked with autism research teams at the University of Montreal and is cited in a considerable number of academic papers.  She has also received the Ordre de Montreal as a result of her consistent voice in advocating for the rights of autistic people. 

Dawson describes autism as a neurological difference in development, one which determines how we process information.  This atypical brain-routing results in behaviours and thinking that is different from the ‘neurotypical’.  Dawson presents these differences as strengths rather than as a negative stereotype.[iv]

It may also be helpful to note that online communities for Autists by Autists have been springing up all over. In Ontario, Canada, A4A (Autists for Autists).  In Western Canada, Autists United, and the Autism CRC Co-operative Research Centre whose vision is to see autists empowered in their diverse strengths and interests.

So look on the bright side. The world’s perception of those of us on the spectrum is slowly changing.  Thanks to the persistent lobbying of our fellow autists in promoting the recognition of our unique neurological processes, we are beginning to embrace who we are and how we process the world. More and more people, including those who are positioned in such a way that they can influence societal changes in attitude, understand and accept our condition.

They are fighting for us to be accepted as we are.

 That, surely is cause for a tremendous Valentine’s Day celebration!

[i] https://vancouversun.com/news/local-news/autistic-people-march-for-and-against-walk-for-autism-in-richmond

[ii] A critical analysis of Autistic Masking: Understanding the Narrative of Stigma and the Illusion of Choice.

[iii] https://ville.montreal.qc.ca/ordre/en/michelle-dawson

[iv] the autism crisis: science & ethics in the era of autism advocacy : What’s autism anyway?

Tagged , , , , , ,
Feb 28 2024
Leave a comment
writing on the Spectrum

Helping Neurodivergent Children Have Success in the Classroom.

Positive Aspects: Sheila’s Story continued.
Feb 25 2024
Leave a comment
writing on the Spectrum

Positive aspects of non-neurotypical thinking

Positive Aspects: Sheila’s Story continued.
← Older posts