Category Archives: mindfulness

Apr 02 2024
Leave a comment
mindfulness, writing on the Spectrum

A Work In Progress

Making the Body/Mind Connection Part 3

I am trying hard to follow my own advice and be more mindful, but too often, I find that I am not. 

I find myself preoccupied with work problems and issues.  It’s high season for my seasonal work, and the demands on me are almost unbearably heavy right now.

I do not wish for my days to be entirely consumed with work. There is so much more that I want to do!

I live on the usually rainy west coast of BC, but when it is unseasonably sunny out, I need to bask in that sun for at least half an hour, just to remind myself that there’s a rewarding and joyful life available and waiting for me.

I like to both read and least listen to books, but I am reduced to only listening to audio books in the car on my way to the gym.

 Lately, I find I am not even making time to phone and chat with my friends or keep in touch with my distant cousins and relatives, some of whom count on me for support and encouragement.

I am incredibly fortunate in that I have a caring partner who plans and prepares our meals, and takes care of the light housekeeping and gardening. 

So really, my complaint, when I stop to think about it, is not about my situation, it’s about how I am dealing with it, which is a result of what’s going on in my head.

This reminds me of an article I once read, by an esteemed author named Ekhart Tolle.  He said something that really caught my interest.

He said our minds are busy clogging up our thoughts with the past and the future. This keeps us from noticing and fully living the possibilities and the pleasure of the moment we are in. 

Tolle believes that even when we feel that being in the present moment is painful, unpleasant or even unacceptable, that feeling is a judgement we are making about that moment. And just thinking in those terms, Tolle warns us, works against our best interests. 

These assessments of our situation are pronounced as unalterable facts by our mind, and Tolle posits that it is this judgement which causes us pain and unhappiness.

Tolle’s wise advice?   “Whatever the present moment brings, accept it as if you had chosen it.”  He cautions us to always work with the present and never against it. 

“Make the present moment your friend and not your enemy, and you will transform your life.”

This advice sounds powerful. Also very difficult to initiate and sustain.

Reflecting on this article, which I’ve found in my files, I realize that accepting the reality of the present moment requires practice. 

To do so without adding mental predictions of where it is taking me, or how it has affected me, or labelling it a positive or negative moment, to simply accept the moment whatever it may bring, could be the next step in my journey to mindfulness.

I must learn to live in the present moment.  To recognize what I am doing.  To be fully cognizant of my immediate situation, my environment and my body, as I am moving into the next moment.  And that the next moment is always an unknown.

I am working on it.

Tagged
Mar 24 2024
Leave a comment
awkwardness, body, body and mind, mind, mindfulness, mobility, physical self, writing on the Spectrum

United We Stand, Divided We….

Exploring the Mind/Body Connection Part 2

I am grateful to my body for all the years it has amazingly, carried me through this life. In elementary school, it helped me win races and high jump and in high school, allowed me to participate in team sports like baseball and basketball. I could act in film and on stage. I could walk for miles and often had to.  This body bore me three fine children.  And in the confines of this body, I cared for a husband with a critical heart condition. 

But ultimately, I never thought much about the physical embodiment that accompanied ‘me’ wherever I went. I stumbled, tripped, rushed, and blundered.

Alternately, I would sit for hours in an unhealthy position, lost in a book or a problem or a project.  My body was just there with me, taken for granted, unnoticed, like an unloved child in the room.

The most positive remark I can make about my attitude toward my body is that I have always been aware that mobility is crucial to a vibrant and happy life. So, this project of honouring my physical self should be a simple matter, right?

The trouble is my mind seems to be jealous.

Just when I think I’m doing well with regular breaks from the computer for movement and stretching, or going to the gym, my mind steps in and takes over, completely absorbing me for hours beyond the time I have allotted it, and once again robbing my body of its due.

Why do I live so much in my head?  Why are my thoughts a constant flow of unremitting playback and commentary? 

Why can I not enjoy a mental silence now and then?  A cessation of mental chatter, a period of serenity which would allow me to breathe more deeply, to drink in the moment, the bright purple and yellow of the primulas outside my window, the hummingbirds hovering at the feeder, the snow on the roofs across the way.

Suddenly, it becomes clear: to give my body its due, I must be able to exert some control over my mind.

My friend, Richard, an expert in mindfulness tells me it will take a conscious effort to co-ordinate my body and mind. It’s a matter of giving my physicality the mindful recognition it deserves. And treating it respectfully. 

Richard says I must learn to be still: to extricate myself from this mental rat race in which I seem perpetually absorbed.

I must deliberately engage both body and mind, he tells me, not only when motion is involved but also when it’s time to be still!

He says there is a way to harmoniously reunite my mind with my body. That I must recognize that there are no grounds for perceiving these aspects of myself as a duality. But this body/mind division seems so real to me. If he’s right, I’m not dealing with two separate entities, body and mind are intimately connected. It seems they just don’t recognize each other now.

I must introduce my body and my mind to each other.

I’m going to ask Richard to tell me more about this. What does recognizing the oneness of my body and mind look like in everyday life?  How do I practice this kind of unity? Does anyone else feel this disconnect–this separation of these two aspects of self? How do we reconnect, assuming the connection existed in the first place?

Come join me in my exploration of the mind/body connection!

Tagged , , , , , ,
Mar 17 2024
Leave a comment
Body-mind connection, mind-body awareness, mindfulness

Making the Body-Mind Connection

All my life I’ve dragged my body around behind my mind. 

I’d be sitting at the computer and suddenly think of a resource I needed from another room, or something cooking on the stove that needed tending.  And I don’t quite know how to explain this, but my mind would just start going over there.

And my body would be like “Wait for me!” as I blundered out of my chair, nearly knocking it over, possibly tripping on something, my head and shoulders bent forward, my mind literally pulling me to whatever destination I had in mind. 

I did not ever first think about what I wanted, giving my body time to collect itself and rise with dignity and move gracefully to that place.

I was a human version of a train wreck.

When I sat, hunched over my desk, leaning into my computer, my book, or my sewing.  my posture suffered. My breathing and bodily functions were affected by the scrunching up of lungs and organs.

When I ate, I inhaled my food as if I had an agenda and I was already late. 

I did not have the grace to eat slowly, to make conversation with my husband, to comment on the tastes, smells and textures of the food, the care taken with the table setting, or any other aspect of the time and effort that went into the preparation and presentation of the meal. 

As if devoid of all sensory perception and completely lacking in graceful manners, I ate, immediately got up from the table, cleared the dishes and washed and dried them.

My husband, who not only cooks fabulous meals, but believes in candlelight, tablecloths and flowers as normal dinner table settings, was left sitting alone in his chair,

As a young girl it had been drilled into me that a clean kitchen was the hallmark of a good wife and mother, and since I had so much to do, the sooner it was cleaned up, the better. Right?

Lately, I have made a substantial effort to change.  I have decided, late as it is in my life, to acknowledge my body as a vital, omnipresent part of me, and to give it due time and attention.  But how?  After a lifetime of neglect, it’s going to take a big rethink.    

Tagged ,