When making new friendships it is important to be seen and to see others in context.
Consider how you wish to be seen. Is it sitting alone in Starbucks? Probably not.
A richer context for making connections is likely to exist in areas where you are fully engaged: when you are at the community centre doing volunteer work or at college taking classes or in your town, taking a tour of the art gallery, a historic part of town, or of the local flora and fauna.
People you meet while working in a community garden or volunteering at your local wildlife refuge or animal shelter are likely to be interesting, active and involved people who may make excellent friends.
The same could be true of those people you’d meet as a regular participant in a church group or continuing education classes or neighborhood events.
People need to know who you are and what is important to you and being alone in Starbucks may imply a story of vulnerability, isolation and aloofness.
I am guessing that is not what you want to convey; not what you are about!
Seeing others in context is equally important. If you do not meet someone in the course of a group activity, you may be missing several important clues about them: how well do they relate to others? Are they compassionate? Funny? Kind? Critical? Irritating?
Is their outlook mostly negative? Or is it mainly positive? Are they friendly and welcoming? Are they impatient with others who may have difficulty understanding instructions or performing certain tasks?
These questions can more easily be answered within the context of a social gathering. When we are always alone there are fewer clues about who we are.
Explore your interests and your options to find a social context—a club, committee or group of real live people that you can join.
By giving yourself a social context which honestly conveys what you value to others, you increase the reliability of their estimation of who you are and of interests you may have in common.
Margaret Jean