Isn’t that video helpful for overcoming social anxiety?
You know, no matter how many successful social encounters I have, it seems the ones the Asperger’s ones that don’t go well are the ones that linger ghost-like in my mind, haunting me.
Recently I had an encounter where my aim was to convey care and concern for someone. I totally missed the mark.
Instead of greeting that person in a pleasant way to set them at ease, I began with the imperative We have to talk!
Then, instead of asking how they were or how things were going for them, I launched into a prepared speech!
The target of my concern (and target is a most appropriate term) looked at me as if I were some alien being suddenly projected into the time and space slot before them.
Stunned and confused, possibly even hurt by my well-meaning verbal tackle, they said something abrupt and walked away.
Of course I immediately reviewed all the errors in my approach, feeling an absolute idiot. But then I remembered my advice to all of my fellow Aspies: have compassion for yourself.
I tried, but for the next few weeks, I shuddered each time I recalled the non-conversation.
However, I was redeemed. When my birthday came along several weeks later, that same person left flowers on my door. So I guess he got the message regardless of my delivery system.
Take heart, Aspies! Sometimes our not-so-socially-correct way of communicating still manages to connect.
Yours truly,
Margaret Jean.
Margaret Jean 