Feb 25 2024
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Autism Spectrum & Career Excellence, Positive Aspects of Life on the Spectrum, The autistic child at school

Positive Aspects: Sheila’s Story continued.

In the previous two blogs, I’ve entertained positive aspects of non-neuro typical thinking, and presented the back story of Sheila, a single mom who found that both she and her young son were on the autism spectrum. This begins the story of the mindset Sheila brings to her work as a teacher’s aide, and the empathic understanding through which she views her students. The following is part three of Sheila’s story, told in her own words.

Once the school finally had the information they needed to support my son, I decided to join the workforce again.  But I needed to find a profession. Teaching was a direction I’d been encouraged to pursue since elementary school and was one which held a very strong appeal. Since the reality was that I had limited financial resources and a special needs son who demanded time and attention, a Certified Educational Assistant (CEA) seemed like a good fit for me and a more reasonable option.  Grants paid for the college and university classes I needed, and I was able to complete the course at a pace that worked for my son.

When I am assigned a student, I am aware that often many aides and teachers have already tried a wide variety of learning tools and resources to support the student’s ability to understand and integrate information or concepts. In other words, to “learn”.

With the groundwork that has already been done there is a lot of information about which approaches have not succeeded, as well as a list of interests, strengths and even passions that the student is able to contribute to the process.

Having studied the file, I turn to the child. I look for patterns of behaviour and sparks of interest and consider how these can be intercepted and guided toward opening new channels of insight and communication.

In one instance, a grade four student was unable to correctly add single digit numbers up to twenty without support. This was something I had never encountered before. After a brief assessment with the student, I saw that she could count past 100 and easily recognize numbers. She knew 1+1=2 and 1+2=3 but did not know what 1+3 equaled.

I thought about this student’s classroom experience, what it would be like to watch your peers work independently and with only a little help, get the right answers. And all you can do is sit there, frustrated and anxious, staring at the numbers, struggling to grasp the process, all the time thinking “I just don’t get it!”

The school was giving me the resources and the opportunity to assist this child, and I was determined to help her. To find the key that would unlock the door to some level of success.

Sheila’s innovative approach and her student’s learning process follow in the next Blog.

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Feb 11 2024
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Autism Spectrum & Career Excellence, Books on Autism, Positive Aspects of Life on the Spectrum, Rudy Simone, Aspergirls, The autistic child at school

Positive Aspects of Life on the Spectrum: Sheila’s Story.

In this blog series, I am presenting lives that express the ways in which not being Neuro Typical is a career asset.  Thinking outside the box is normal for people on the autism spectrum. In certain circumstances this attribute of our condition can be beneficial. 

To continue Sheila’s story, begun in the previous blog, I will first relate some background information, along with some early practices she implemented. These temporary solutions to her son, Seamus’ social and learning problems ultimately led to her ability to explore unique and innovative methodology, which will be discussed in the next blog in this series. 

Sheila’s school experience was successful both academically and socially. However, later circumstances rendered her a single mom on welfare with an autistic child, Seamus.

As a result, Sheila experienced the understanding of how frustrating life can be for both parent and child, when someone is trying their best, socially and academically, and yet, is largely unsuccessful at one or both.

Seamus was a loving boy, but he found socializing at school impossible. Ostracized and bullied, he could never join in any games, and he had no friends to ‘hang’ with at lunch or recess. Sheila decided to see how she could help.

Every lunch hour she joined Seamus on the playground. Standing with him, she would ask, “Who wants to play baseball?” Invariably several children would crowd around.  “Alright,” she’d say, “There’s only one rule, and that is, Seamus gets to play.”

At first, the other children would eye each other speculatively, and Sheila worried that no-one would accept her invitation.  But then, to her relief, someone would shrug and agree to play and soon, enough kids had joined in for a make-up game.

The ‘Seamus ball game’ soon became a popular lunch time activity! Sheila would also stay later on occasion to help in the classroom if Seamus was having a problem with the work. Her organized approach, ability to quickly assess a situation through Seamus’ eyes and her friendly but authoritative air made her an asset in the classroom.

In the late 1990’s, not a lot was known about the autism spectrum, especially the high end kids who seemed to have no trouble learning but couldn’t manage their social life. After countless incomplete diagnoses, from leaky gut to ADD and ADHD, Sheila felt at a loss. She didn’t like the effect of the medications prescribed for her son, and he didn’t either, often refusing to take them.

One day, after attending a conference on autism, a teacher from Seamus’ school phoned Sheila.   I think I know what Seamus has, she told Sheila. When given a list of the symptomatic behaviours, Sheila recognized to her surprise, that it was not only Seamus who was on the spectrum–she was on the spectrum, too! This self-knowledge opened up a wide range of concerns and possibilities for both Sheila and her son.

In her book, Aspergirls, Rudy Simone states that for adults, being diagnosed can be a relief. A diagnosis for a child can also bring relief for parents like Sheila, who until Seamus’ diagnosis did not know where to turn for helpful information. In the years before Sheila was diagnosed, her focus was on helping Seamus.

Little was known about how to help those on the high end of the spectrum, then known as Asperger’s. With the help of his school staff, his family doctor, and Sheila’s campaigning, Seamus was able to access a facility for testing.  Once he was diagnosed, funding became available for special programs and activities for him. 

Every dime had to be accounted for, and it could only be spent on the special needs or activities for him, Sheila recalls.

Sheila’s experience with her son provided her insight into similar situations. She understands the frustration of having a child who neither learns nor interacts in the same way as their peers. She has gained the power of finding those keys which open doors for students who feel stymied by the different ways their brain works.

Success is what these kids need to experience. Sheila tells me, referring to both behavioural and learning issues. Helping her students find the self-confidence that will allow for success, is the motivating factor in her work.

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Jan 29 2024
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Adults on the Spectrum: Work, Relationships and Play, Autism Spectrum, Autism Spectrum & Career Excellence, Autism spectrum: challenges at work, Greta Thunberg, Temple Grandin

A Positive Aspect of Life on the Spectrum.

In a previous post, Viewing Asperger’s Through a Different Window, I considered the possibility that some aspects of being on the spectrum make us more capable in certain situations, not less.

I’d like to further explore that position in this blog.  

Being on the spectrum has the advantage of enabling us to see events from a focused, objective perspective, one which is devoid of much of the emotional, social ‘baggage’ which often burden neural typicals.

From this distinctive, intellectually isolated position, we are able to recognize the ‘essence’ of scientific and political dilemmas which, when no longer ‘wrapped up’ in irrelevant social diplomacy, are much simpler to resolve.

We see significant examples of this in Elon Musk, Greta Thunberg, and Temple Grandin, people whose unique perspectives have promoted both awareness of and possible solutions to critical environmental and industrial challenges currently impacting all of humanity.

If you are on the spectrum, you may wish to consider whether your ‘lack of alignment’ with decisions being made for all of us by neural typical politicians and industrialists is because you are somehow ‘deficient’, or rather because you are better positioned to recognise, isolate and promote workable solutions to complex issues.

There is a difference in the way the human brain processes incoming information in neural typicals vs those on the spectrum. Our uniqueness allows us a different outlook on problems and often, a unique approach to them.  Our lack of emotional or social involvement encourages us to see issues objectively, and therefore to approach solutions rationally. 

 You may wish to discuss this with acquaintances who are also on the spectrum. You may be surprised at how others share both this viewpoint, and the frustration which arises from being marginalized.

 Once you are receptive to the notion of a positive influence resulting from the differing neurological processes, you will find no shortage of examples of the benefits of this unique perspective,

Sheila is one such person who brings a unique talent to her work.

Sheila is an Educational Assistant who, in her 20 year career, has worked with educationally challenged children ranging from kindergarten through high school. 

Early on, her talent for this work was discovered to be exceptional, and subsequently she often finds herself assigned the students with the most serious limitations, ranging from behavioural issues to those with significant brain differences..

In my next blog posting I will explore some specific, unique approaches that Sheila uses with great success.

You will see how, when her autistic mind identifies and isolates problems, successful solutions inevitably follow. You may find that they resonate with you. You may even find them quite fascinating!

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Jan 20 2024
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Adult Aspies and Social situations, Adults on the Spectrum: Work, Relationships and Play, Autism Spectrum, Autism spectrum: challenges at work

Burning Bridges

While everyone finds it difficult to determine who can be trusted, it is especially so for those of us on the spectrum.

We are often unaware of intentions indicated by visual clues like body language, eye movement and facial expression. This inability can make us vulnerable, and too often the brunt of mean spirited, self-serving individuals.   

Others may purposely set us up, taking something they know we said in innocence, or jest, purposely repeating it to others out of context so as to make it sound harmful, cruel or vindictive. At best in the hope of personal gain, or worst, out of pure maliciousness.

In casual conversation with others we may make a sarcastic, but light hearted, innocuous, remark like, “Right! Because we all know Mary is so lazy!  Not!”  Soon the rumour circulating in the office is that you said Mary is lazy. You cannot deny that literally you did say that Mary was lazy, even though you meant to playfully convey the opposite.

Incidents like this are why those of us on the spectrum will often think carefully about what to say before speaking.  This pre-speech ‘pause’ can be misinterpreted by neural typicals as an indication that we are not interested in responding. The fact is we are thinking our way through to a socially appropriate response.  

Who to trust?  We cannot guard our every word. There will always be others who prey upon our ‘differences’ with selfish motives.  

Our best defence is to speak honestly, in a clear, straightforward manner, simply stating our intention.  In this way we can avoid the temptation to overly qualify or clarify what we have said, after the fact.  

It is important to always speak with goodwill.  But it is equally important to be careful about who you engage in conversation.  That person you joked with about Mary?  Future conversations with that individual must be limited to factual information, devoid of social playful banter.

Having difficulty making friends means we will often excuse people’s bad behaviour to keep the ‘friendship’ alive.  But this is setting ourselves up for constant betrayal.

Certain conversational topics are great gateways through which to get to know others. 

General topics, like the weather, TV shows, books, or current events can ease us into a new social relationship. Personally revealing conversation can be ammunition for self-serving bullies.

Save confidences for later, when you have had time to evaluate the trustworthiness of your new friends.

In her book, Aspergirls, Rudy Simone urges those on the spectrum to defend themselves “with tact and strength”.  She further counsels us to be constantly aware of the unpleasant personality traits possessed by certain people in our lives.

If you find yourself ostracized by others as a result of deliberate misinformation spread by an ignorant individual, there is little you can do to defend yourself.

In stressful situations such as these, Simone suggests that you take the ‘high road’, displaying as little overt anger, and as much grace as you can muster, in order to retain your personal integrity and self-respect.

“Remember the three R’s,” she counsels. “References, recommendation, and reputation.” You may need to maintain all three in order to have the life you desire. 

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Jan 13 2024
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Autism Spectrum, Autism Spectrum diagnosis, writing on the Spectrum

Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

An Empowering Read for Women on the Autism Spectrum

I appreciate Rudy Simone’s acknowledgement that sometimes our social behaviours result in “botched interactions” causing feelings of guilt and self-blame. We on the spectrum have all had those experiences!

I learned that I was on the spectrum when my grandson was diagnosed. My daughter phoned me, very excited, and added, “And Mom, you and I also have all the symptoms!”

It was a joyful and terrifying moment. Joyful because suddenly there was an explanation for my horrific record of social blunders. Terrifying because it meant that I had been stumbling blindly through school, marriages and child-rearing without the benefit of this knowledge.

The awareness gave me the gift of compassion for myself. As Simone says in Aspergirls, diagnosis comes with a sensation of relief. 

I would like to say that I stopped feeling inadequate in that moment, but like the women in Simone’s book, and as anyone on the spectrum knows, that fear of being found lacking in social situations does not suddenly vanish.

Still, I’ve found that sense of insecurity can sometimes be useful. Feeling uncertain can make me hesitant at times, a caution which allows me to reassess a situation and perhaps even quickly think through and revise my initial instinctive response.

Simone notes that not being diagnosed invites all kinds of speculation, including unflattering and insulting conclusions about what our ‘problem’ is. 

People will often assume that our lack of social propriety is intentional. Or, seeing that we are vulnerable, some folks can’t resist the cruel opportunity to take advantage of our inability to appropriately defend ourselves in social situations, perhaps even to elevate their own social status in the eyes of their peers.

I found Simone’s book reassuring, in that she not only writes about her own experience, but also presents the comments and experiences of other ‘Aspergirls’. 

She covers a wide range of topics, from dating, sex and relationships, including ending those relationships (burning bridges), along with bullying at school, managing employment situations, stimming behaviours and sensory overload. Each chapter contains personal anecdotes, research and information, and ends with advice to Aspergirls and their parents.

Aspergirls is not only informative, it is a book that will make any girl on the autism spectrum feel at home in its pages, which will help parents, siblings and significant others to perhaps see the world from our point of view.

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Sep 13 2022
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Greta Thunberg

A House On Fire. Greta Thunberg Speaks Boldly and Clearly.

Angst. A general sense of depression.  Wide-spread, generalized anxiety.  These are not circumstances resulting from being on the Autism Spectrum.  They are underlying conditions which many esteemed philosophers and sociologists have identified as being widespread in today’s world, in an era they term ‘modernity’.

This sense of unease and dislocation within society is so prevalent that it has been suggested as being the root cause of mass shootings in America, of the violence directed at other ethnicities, immigrants, corporate moguls and politicians. Even toward our neighbours and our domestic partners.

These erudite writers, ranging from Hanna Arendt to Pankaj Mishra, Richard Sennett and Marshal Berman, credit this sense of impending doom “even where there is none” to a general anxiety arising from the unsettled sensation created by living in a world where rapid change creates constant instability in almost every aspect of our lives. 

But what if these are not the primary factors creating this uncomfortable sense of ennui and lack of purpose?  What if one teenage girl, whose message is being largely ignored, has been pinpointing the underlying cause all along?

What if Greta Thunberg’s metaphor for our continually warming planet, our Earth, is fitting? Our house is on fire! [1](41) And we are all aware that nothing is being done about it because our leaders are too concerned with their own personal and political agendas to give the environmental crisis the attention it not only deserves but urgently requires.

 Greta Thunberg frequently travels the world from her home base in Sweden to Vienna, Strasbourg, London, and New York quoting the science behind the issues. She boldly states the near impossibility of correcting the situation if we continue to delay taking the steps which would slow the damage, while at the same time allowing third world countries to raise their standard of living.  

She asks those in charge of representing their governments on environmental issues, “Is my microphone on? Can you hear me?” and, “Did you hear what I just said?”

Her frustration arises from the fact that while world leaders repeatedly gather to discuss climate change agendas, very little is achieved.  Politicians, statesmen and numerous other representatives go back to their constituencies to raise self-fulfilling agendas.

In a scathing indictment of the current environmental situation, she told the attendees at the 2019 Climate Initiative that while deferring the decision to act responsibly in this matter may not greatly affect the representatives who were present, it would be devastating to those of her generation. 

“It is our future that has been sold, so that a small number of people could make unimaginable amounts of money.”

Is this unconscious, but prescient knowledge the reason so many children today seem to suffer a total lack of enthusiasm for life?  Not their addiction to screens and social media, but the underlying knowledge that they are doomed, powerless to change the tide of world events?  Is our general sense of malaise born of despair, of a sense of inability to influence our leadership toward any vital and meaningful action?

Thunberg’s Asperger’s clarity of thought has enabled her to speak boldly and without hesitation to high-ranking officials in many organizations including parliaments,  the Climate Initiative, the World Economic Forum, and the UN General Assembly. 

She credits her success in creating a worldwide movement that at times has rallied over six million participants, to the fact that she doesn’t think like a ‘normal’ and social person (28).

How does she see the environmental situation changing?  In speech after speech, she entreats world leaders to listen to the science behind the destruction of the Earth’s ecosystem.  She suggests a democracy and a politics based on that science (50) urging our leaders to forge a new system which would help to mitigate personal, self-serving, short-term agendas.

As for missing school to participate in the strike for change in the political response to climate change, Thunberg says, “We are not in school today.  Because this is an emergency.  And we will not be bystanders.”

Thunberg metaphorically describes our environmental situation as knowing that your house is on fire and yet, sitting down on the sofa and casually discussing what should be done next. 

Thunberg’s point is that such a response is unimaginable.  Inconceivable.  And yet we on planet Earth find ourselves in an unacceptably perilous situation and yet, with the possible exception of Ireland, we are failing to respond in a proactively effective fashion.

I see her frustration mounting as I read her speeches.  In her science-based estimation, the situation is dire, the consequences for her generation’s future almost unthinkable. 

But the people currently in power fail to act, as from their vantage point they will not be the ones to ultimately pay the price for their inaction.

This failure to act gives licence to individuals and organizations to react precipitously, possibly resulting in irresponsible and counter-productive activities. 

Those who will suffer through elevating environmental crises, ones which could still be mitigated if we act now, are currently too young to have a political influence.

Is this the root of our contemporary society’s general anxiety?  Our sense of frustration and hopelessness?  Does this not engender and fuel eco-terrorism?

We must open our eyes. The science is clear.  An environmental apocalypse is imminent! Our house is on fire!

[1] All page references in this article refer to No One Is Too Small To Make A Difference by Greta Thunberg, a Penquin Book.

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Feb 01 2022
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Adult Aspies and Social situations, An Asperger Point of View, Asperger's research, writing on the Spectrum

Viewing Asperger’s through a Different Window.

John Elder Robison, who has Asperger’s, writes prolifically on Autism. He volunteered to undergo an experimental treatment which involved being subjected to magnetic stimulation of targeted areas of his brain.

There have been extensive studies on Asperger’s by neurophysiologists during the past 30 – 40 years. During the past 15 – 20 years, the emphasis has been upon the difference in utilization of the Cerebral cortex and the Amygdala aspect of the Cerebellum between neurotypicals and those on the Autism Spectrum.

These studies reveal how information with an emotional content, especially when personally conveyed, is largely processed in the Cerebral cortex by those with Asperger’s rather than in the Amygdala where it is processed by neurotypicals.

The result is those of us on the autism spectrum process information with emotional content logically, rather than emotionally.

However, the richer the contextual content associated with the information, the greater the ability of Aspies to ‘understand’, even if they cannot ‘directly experience’ the emotion being expressed.

In the experimental treatment in which Robison participated, he didn’t immediately notice any difference.

But the next day, when he interacted with others, he was unexpectedly overwhelmed by an almost ‘psychic’ awareness of their emotions. 

He was assailed by emotions of “jealousy, fear, anger and every bad thing I could imagine” (Neale). It was an unexpected torrent of emotions which he experienced as shocking and distressing.

This situation, one of being admitted to an emotional landscape which is usually unavailable, puts me in mind of Virginia Woolf’s comment in A Room of One’s Own about patriarchal rules in Oxbridge. At the library, she was refused entrance because of being a woman.

In social situations, as a person with autism syndrome, I feel as Woolf did “…how unpleasant it is to be locked out;” (18).  

But when I am composing a poem like Exonerating Eve which expresses such a divergent but powerful viewpoint, then, like Woolf, I cannot help but ponder the alternative, as she did when she added, “… and I thought how it is worse perhaps to be locked in;” (18).

Aspies, such as myself, come to realize early in our lives that we are somehow ‘locked out’. We learn to accept this and to make social inroads where we may.

But Robison’s experience indicates that our lack of social/emotional understanding is a ‘locking out’ that is at least in some respects beneficial, allowing us to experience the world in a way that, while ingenuous, is also unique and  insightful.

And thus I present my poem:

EXONERATING EVE

I know why Eve ate the apple

Picked and tasted forbidden fruit.

Locked in her Eden she hungered for more,

wanted proof that her life would not always be
just wandering the garden, a helpmate to Adam,

a servant to God.

In her heart she yearned for more than the beauty,

More than the silence. More than obedience.

Something within called her to challenge

the ‘perfection’ of a life established by God. 

Accepted by Man. 

Did The Creator witness her anguish? Did He
inspire her desire for more?

Gifting free will to all of humanity,

did He await our wakening thrill?

Did He seek a braver companion than one who
obeyed without question or zeal?

Was He astounded when it was the woman,

The feminine one who plucked and then peeled 

The Fruit that triggered a flood of passion
and reason, Wherein she
shrugged off obedience and now saw
her truth?

 Newly aware, she sees in her nudity 

All that is vulnerable and desirable to men. 

Looking out at the garden she sees the reality, 

thorns and thistles suddenly visible.

And within her, awareness of a strong inner spirit,

God-given,
to prepare her for the journey that she now begins.

Eve ate the fruit to be free from the fallacy

That her life was perfect. 

She dared to be more than that helpmate.

More than that servant.

To live in a garden that was an Eden no more.

A garden that now she perceives as a jungle.

A garden that asks her spirit to grow. 

A garden with pathways to be forged

and then trodden.

A life posing questions, needing answers,

Revealing wonders, unveiling horrors. A life to be
probed. A will to be tested.

Searching for truth, for reason and passion,

She reaches up, plucks The Fruit from the tree.

And in that critical, wonderful moment,

Plunges mankind into uncertainty, Drawing us
all out of complacency.

 Here in the midst of this pandemic, I understand
a woman like Eve.

As I sit and reflect on the life I’ve created,

I challenge myself to find more of me.

To ask the hard questions, to reach for the truth. 

To find in myself the courage to ask 

the questions that, unanswered leave me unproved.

To reach for the core, the richness of life. Face my own
fears, grapple with and tame them.

While I have time. While I am here, locked in this life Some would
call Paradise.

Yes. I have come to know why Eve ate that apple.

4:53 AM

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Dec 17 2021
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Aspies and Bullying, bullying

Bullied because we’re different: ‘Different’ includes ‘Exceptional”!

In Mexico, a child named Adhara Perez was bullied, called ‘weirdo’ and ‘oddball’.  In one incident, her ‘playmates’ locked her in a playhouse, while taunting her relentlessly for being ‘different’.

These attitudes are all too familiar to children with Asperger’s.

Even as adults, it can seem that the harder we try to fit in socially, the more we subject ourselves to painful disdain when our efforts only exacerbate our difference.

But what about those of us who find acceptance as we are?

The best possible scenario is when a parent or a spouse sees the positive aspects of our ‘syndrome’.  This is what happened with Adhara Perez.

Her mother, witnessing the playhouse incident, vowed that Adhara would never have to suffer such humiliating treatment again.

She consoled Adhara, encouraging her through therapy and subsequent tests which revealed that Adhara actually had an astounding IQ!  That was at the age of four.

Part of her mother’s determination that Adhara should never again be subjected to bullying was the decision to take her out of school, where  bored and depressed, Adhara often slept through her classes. 

After her amazing intellect was discovered, Adhara began studying in a non-traditional manner.  She graduated from high school at age 8, and is currently working on two degrees, Systems Engineering and Industrial Engineering in Mathematics. 

When we consider the lives of children with Asperger’s whose parents have stood by them, we see an illustration of the extraordinary benefits they can bring to the world.

Two women come immediately to mind:  First, Temple Grandin, who has championed the humane treatment of livestock en route to slaughter. As well, Grandin has written scientific treatises on animal behaviour and several books[1] including one about the autistic brain.

Secondly, Greta Thunberg, who has shaken up the world by forcing us towards a greater recognition of the disastrous effects that environmental pollution will have upon both present and future generations.

What does Adhara advise people who find themselves in hateful situations?

Never give up! And if you’re in an intolerable situation you despise? Then formulate concrete plans to move yourself forward into a better situation.

Let’s all do ourselves a great favour by remembering: ‘different’ need not be a negative attribute. It includes those who are gifted with insights which are unavailable to the vast majority of those with normal cognitive function, as the ‘normal’ brain is too often passively unquestioning, and thus unable to visualise, sustain and actualize alternate possibilities. 

[1] Grandin wrote several books, including Emergence: Labeled Autistic (1986; with Margaret M. Scariano), Thinking in Pictures, and Other Reports from My Life with Autism (1995), and The Autistic Brain: Thinking Across the Spectrum (2013; with Richard Panek). Calling All Minds: How to Think and Create Like an Inventor (2018) was for younger readers. She also edited and contributed to the volume Genetics and the Behavior of Domestic Animals (1998).

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Jul 05 2021
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Adult Aspies and Social situations, anxiety, building and maintaining relationships, conversational anxiety aspergers

An Adult Aspie Looks at Friendship

Having trouble making friends? For people on the spectrum, this is a common situation. A recent study indicated that of the participants, more than half the children with ASD did not have a single close friend. How does a person learn to live with that?

I have been fortunate to have one or two friends who have remained constant. But mostly? Friends come and go.

My approach to friendship is different from that of people who seem to know all the rules of bonding and building peer relationships.

Occasionally, people come to have some meaningful connection with me, and then, for the most part, sooner or later drift away. And that’s okay because they always leave me emotionally richer, with lessons learned and experiences shared that I would not have otherwise had.

I have let go of my expectations of a life-long friendship when my life intersects with others. If we have no interests in common, or not enough to sustain a typical friendship, that’s ok.

Not forming a lifetime bond with others is not a failure.

I see my role as bringing light into their path just by virtue of being me.  I want to offer them a gift, introducing an upbeat, pleasant moment into their day. I may do this in many ways: with kindness, validation, humour or encouragement.

I see our meeting as a connection, not a life-long commitment.

I believe connecting with someone new occurs at a meaningful time for both of us, and that we are each somehow important in that moment for the other, assisting each other along whatever path we are individually, or jointly, travelling.

It is not for me to judge others, to work to improve the people who come into my life, or to see if we can converse comfortably for hours … although it is always a pleasant surprise when a lengthy, satisfying conversation occurs! 

Actually, shorter connections feel safer for me, I can avoid having to analyse whether what we have discussed or disclosed is really appropriate.

Just a connection that however fleeting, will be rewarding in the moment, and remembered with pleasure.

That’s not so hard to live with!

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Jun 18 2021
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ASD and Aspergers Resources, Asperger's research, Aspies parenting, autism research

Our Friends at Autism BC and SFU.

To be on the spectrum or to be the parent of someone on the spectrum is to open a window on a world view that few others experience.

I think we see things differently, perhaps more intimately than others. I don’t know, because being autistic precludes me from seeing the world through any other lens. I know I delight in my surroundings, and in the simple pleasures of my home. However, it has been a long journey that has led me to this place of serenity and peace.

To my parents, I was an unpredictable, alien-type being who landed in the midst of a family of people who thought of themselves as ‘normal’, a label which could not under any circumstance be applied to me.

My parents would have benefited greatly from the resources that are available to parents today. My early life perhaps would have been far less damaging and debilitating.

Fortunately, today, parents of children on the spectrum have a variety of resources. Here is information on just two in my area of BC, Canada.

Autism BC is a charitable foundation formed to assist families and individuals in their journey through Autism.

Founded in 1975, AutismBC serves the entire province of British Columbia, assisting families with programs and webinars dispensing information about many facets of Autism and the how-to’s of getting assistance from both government and private agencies.

Membership includes access to:

  • Referrals for services 
  • Community support groups 
  • Vetted, credible information & resources 
  • Inclusive social clubs 
  • Free ticket giveaways 
  • Autism BC Goes Community Events 
  • Discounts on workshops and training 
  • Regionally-specific Autism BC Newsletters 
  • Connection to the largest autism network in BC 

Best of all, Membership is free!

In a recent posting, Brock, the program manager at Autism BC listed a number of summer programs and resources currently available to members. These include summer arts and math camps for children, and a discussion on hassle-free toilet training for your child. To access these, go to AutismBC.ca

Brock also mentions the SFU yourlearner.com program in which an Artificial Intelligence supported special needs intervention app is being developed.

The program coordinators at SFU are looking for parents to help test the program.

Parents who have had difficulty finding support for their children due to insufficient funding, long wait lists or unavailable service providers may apply. The final date for applications to this program is June 30, with the program starting in July.

The SFU website also has a video guide for parents on how to get the most from ABA or Applied Behavioural Analysis at: https://yourlearner.com/events.

This is only one of their helpful videos on managing life with someone on the spectrum.

The resources are out there. As more people ascribe to these programs, and as an increasing member and support base is developed, the opportunities for additional programs expand.

The more we become familiar with these programs and foundations, giving feedback and support, the more resources and services will become available to us.

Look up your local and international autism spectrum support systems. Then use them. It’s a win-win situation.

Margaret Jean Adam

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