Category Archives: Autism Spectrum

A Positive Aspect of Life on the Spectrum.

I’d like to further explore that position in this blog.  

Being on the spectrum has the advantage of enabling us to see events from a focused, objective perspective, one which is devoid of much of the emotional, social ‘baggage’ which often burden neural typicals.

From this distinctive, intellectually isolated position, we are able to recognize the ‘essence’ of scientific and political dilemmas which, when no longer ‘wrapped up’ in irrelevant social diplomacy, are much simpler to resolve.

We see significant examples of this in Elon Musk, Greta Thunberg, and Temple Grandin, people whose unique perspectives have promoted both awareness of and possible solutions to critical environmental and industrial challenges currently impacting all of humanity.

If you are on the spectrum, you may wish to consider whether your ‘lack of alignment’ with decisions being made for all of us by neural typical politicians and industrialists is because you are somehow ‘deficient’, or rather because you are better positioned to recognise, isolate and promote workable solutions to complex issues.

There is a difference in the way the human brain processes incoming information in neural typicals vs those on the spectrum. Our uniqueness allows us a different outlook on problems and often, a unique approach to them.  Our lack of emotional or social involvement encourages us to see issues objectively, and therefore to approach solutions rationally. 

 You may wish to discuss this with acquaintances who are also on the spectrum. You may be surprised at how others share both this viewpoint, and the frustration which arises from being marginalized.

 Once you are receptive to the notion of a positive influence resulting from the differing neurological processes, you will find no shortage of examples of the benefits of this unique perspective,

Sheila is one such person who brings a unique talent to her work.

Sheila is an Educational Assistant who, in her 20 year career, has worked with educationally challenged children ranging from kindergarten through high school. 

Early on, her talent for this work was discovered to be exceptional, and subsequently she often finds herself assigned the students with the most serious limitations, ranging from behavioural issues to those with significant brain differences..

In my next blog posting I will explore some specific, unique approaches that Sheila uses with great success.

You will see how, when her autistic mind identifies and isolates problems, successful solutions inevitably follow. You may find that they resonate with you. You may even find them quite fascinating!

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Burning Bridges

While everyone finds it difficult to determine who can be trusted, it is especially so for those of us on the spectrum.

We are often unaware of intentions indicated by visual clues like body language, eye movement and facial expression. This inability can make us vulnerable, and too often the brunt of mean spirited, self-serving individuals.   

Others may purposely set us up, taking something they know we said in innocence, or jest, purposely repeating it to others out of context so as to make it sound harmful, cruel or vindictive. At best in the hope of personal gain, or worst, out of pure maliciousness.

In casual conversation with others we may make a sarcastic, but light hearted, innocuous, remark like, “Right! Because we all know Mary is so lazy!  Not!”  Soon the rumour circulating in the office is that you said Mary is lazy. You cannot deny that literally you did say that Mary was lazy, even though you meant to playfully convey the opposite.

Incidents like this are why those of us on the spectrum will often think carefully about what to say before speaking.  This pre-speech ‘pause’ can be misinterpreted by neural typicals as an indication that we are not interested in responding. The fact is we are thinking our way through to a socially appropriate response.  

Who to trust?  We cannot guard our every word. There will always be others who prey upon our ‘differences’ with selfish motives.  

Our best defence is to speak honestly, in a clear, straightforward manner, simply stating our intention.  In this way we can avoid the temptation to overly qualify or clarify what we have said, after the fact.  

It is important to always speak with goodwill.  But it is equally important to be careful about who you engage in conversation.  That person you joked with about Mary?  Future conversations with that individual must be limited to factual information, devoid of social playful banter.

Having difficulty making friends means we will often excuse people’s bad behaviour to keep the ‘friendship’ alive.  But this is setting ourselves up for constant betrayal.

Certain conversational topics are great gateways through which to get to know others. 

General topics, like the weather, TV shows, books, or current events can ease us into a new social relationship. Personally revealing conversation can be ammunition for self-serving bullies.

Save confidences for later, when you have had time to evaluate the trustworthiness of your new friends.

In her book, Aspergirls, Rudy Simone urges those on the spectrum to defend themselves “with tact and strength”.  She further counsels us to be constantly aware of the unpleasant personality traits possessed by certain people in our lives.

If you find yourself ostracized by others as a result of deliberate misinformation spread by an ignorant individual, there is little you can do to defend yourself.

In stressful situations such as these, Simone suggests that you take the ‘high road’, displaying as little overt anger, and as much grace as you can muster, in order to retain your personal integrity and self-respect.

“Remember the three R’s,” she counsels. “References, recommendation, and reputation.” You may need to maintain all three in order to have the life you desire. 

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Aspergirls by Rudy Simone

An Empowering Read for Women on the Autism Spectrum

I appreciate Rudy Simone’s acknowledgement that sometimes our social behaviours result in “botched interactions” causing feelings of guilt and self-blame. We on the spectrum have all had those experiences!

I learned that I was on the spectrum when my grandson was diagnosed. My daughter phoned me, very excited, and added, “And Mom, you and I also have all the symptoms!”

It was a joyful and terrifying moment. Joyful because suddenly there was an explanation for my horrific record of social blunders. Terrifying because it meant that I had been stumbling blindly through school, marriages and child-rearing without the benefit of this knowledge.

The awareness gave me the gift of compassion for myself. As Simone says in Aspergirls, diagnosis comes with a sensation of relief. 

I would like to say that I stopped feeling inadequate in that moment, but like the women in Simone’s book, and as anyone on the spectrum knows, that fear of being found lacking in social situations does not suddenly vanish.

Still, I’ve found that sense of insecurity can sometimes be useful. Feeling uncertain can make me hesitant at times, a caution which allows me to reassess a situation and perhaps even quickly think through and revise my initial instinctive response.

Simone notes that not being diagnosed invites all kinds of speculation, including unflattering and insulting conclusions about what our ‘problem’ is. 

People will often assume that our lack of social propriety is intentional. Or, seeing that we are vulnerable, some folks can’t resist the cruel opportunity to take advantage of our inability to appropriately defend ourselves in social situations, perhaps even to elevate their own social status in the eyes of their peers.

I found Simone’s book reassuring, in that she not only writes about her own experience, but also presents the comments and experiences of other ‘Aspergirls’. 

She covers a wide range of topics, from dating, sex and relationships, including ending those relationships (burning bridges), along with bullying at school, managing employment situations, stimming behaviours and sensory overload. Each chapter contains personal anecdotes, research and information, and ends with advice to Aspergirls and their parents.

Aspergirls is not only informative, it is a book that will make any girl on the autism spectrum feel at home in its pages, which will help parents, siblings and significant others to perhaps see the world from our point of view.

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Viewing Asperger’s through a Different Window.

John Elder Robison, who has Asperger’s, writes prolifically on Autism. He volunteered to undergo an experimental treatment which involved being subjected to magnetic stimulation of targeted areas of his brain.

There have been extensive studies on Asperger’s by neurophysiologists during the past 30 – 40 years. During the past 15 – 20 years, the emphasis has been upon the difference in utilization of the Cerebral cortex and the Amygdala aspect of the Cerebellum between neurotypicals and those on the Autism Spectrum.

These studies reveal how information with an emotional content, especially when personally conveyed, is largely processed in the Cerebral cortex by those with Asperger’s rather than in the Amygdala where it is processed by neurotypicals.

The result is those of us on the autism spectrum process information with emotional content logically, rather than emotionally.

However, the richer the contextual content associated with the information, the greater the ability of Aspies to ‘understand’, even if they cannot ‘directly experience’ the emotion being expressed.

In the experimental treatment in which Robison participated, he didn’t immediately notice any difference.

But the next day, when he interacted with others, he was unexpectedly overwhelmed by an almost ‘psychic’ awareness of their emotions. 

He was assailed by emotions of “jealousy, fear, anger and every bad thing I could imagine” (Neale). It was an unexpected torrent of emotions which he experienced as shocking and distressing.

This situation, one of being admitted to an emotional landscape which is usually unavailable, puts me in mind of Virginia Woolf’s comment in A Room of One’s Own about patriarchal rules in Oxbridge. At the library, she was refused entrance because of being a woman.

In social situations, as a person with autism syndrome, I feel as Woolf did “…how unpleasant it is to be locked out;” (18).  

But when I am composing a poem like Exonerating Eve which expresses such a divergent but powerful viewpoint, then, like Woolf, I cannot help but ponder the alternative, as she did when she added, “… and I thought how it is worse perhaps to be locked in;” (18).

Aspies, such as myself, come to realize early in our lives that we are somehow ‘locked out’. We learn to accept this and to make social inroads where we may.

But Robison’s experience indicates that our lack of social/emotional understanding is a ‘locking out’ that is at least in some respects beneficial, allowing us to experience the world in a way that, while ingenuous, is also unique and  insightful.

And thus I present my poem:

EXONERATING EVE

I know why Eve ate the apple

Picked and tasted forbidden fruit.

Locked in her Eden she hungered for more,

wanted proof that her life would not always be
just wandering the garden, a
 helpmate to Adam,

a servant to God.

In her heart she yearned for more than the beauty,

More than the silence. More than obedience.

Something within called her to challenge

the ‘perfection’ of a life established by God. 

Accepted by Man. 

Did The Creator witness her anguish? Did He
inspire her desire for more?

Gifting free will to all of humanity,

did He await our wakening thrill?

Did He seek a braver companion than one who
obeyed without question or zeal?

Was He astounded when it was the woman,

The feminine one who plucked and then peeled 

The Fruit that triggered a flood of passion
and reason, 
Wherein she
shrugged off obedience
and now saw
her truth?

 Newly aware, she sees in her nudity 

All that is vulnerable and desirable to men. 

Looking out at the garden she sees the reality, 

thorns and thistles suddenly visible.

And within her, awareness of a strong inner spirit,

God-given,
to prepare her for the journey 
that she now begins.

Eve ate the fruit to be free from the fallacy

That her life was perfect. 

She dared to be more than that helpmate.

More than that servant.

To live in a garden that was an Eden no more.

A garden that now she perceives as a jungle.

A garden that asks her spirit to grow. 

A garden with pathways to be forged

and then trodden.

A life posing questions, needing answers,

Revealing wonders, unveiling horrors. A life to be
probed. A will to be tested.

Searching for truth, for reason and passion,

She reaches up, plucks The Fruit from the tree.

And in that critical, wonderful moment,

Plunges mankind into uncertainty, Drawing us
all out of complacency.

 Here in the midst of this pandemic, I understand
a woman like Eve.

As I sit and reflect on the life I’ve created,

I challenge myself to find more of me.

To ask the hard questions, to reach for the truth. 

To find in myself the courage to ask 

the questions that, unanswered leave me unproved.

To reach for the core, the richness of life. Face my own
fears, grapple with and tame them.

While I have time. While I am here, locked in this life Some would
call Paradise.

Yes. I have come to know why Eve ate that apple.

4:53 AM


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On Being a Writer with Autism

It’s a problem.  Not just having Asperger’s or, as the more politically and diagnostically correct phrasing goes, being on the spectrum.  But also not being diagnosed.

I know I am autistic.  My oldest daughter and two of my grandsons have been diagnosed as being on the Spectrum and we process information in a similar fashion — although often arriving at very different conclusions. The way we observe and process information is generally considered to be ‘unusual’.

Being different can bring a sense of isolation.  For me, as a child, it began at home. 

None of my family questioned the things I questioned, or perceived certain aspects of home and the society in which we lived, in the way I viewed and interpreted them.  It made both myself, and my family think of me as ‘other’.  I lived there, but I was different.  Wrong.  I didn’t fit in. And I found myself in a very similar situation in school. 

I honestly would not be able to tell you how I was different from the other kids.  That was a secret only they knew. 

Not knowing how I was different made it impossible to adjust my behaviour to conform.

I loved my mother, but in my opinion she lived a very dull, uninteresting life and I was determined to not grow up to live a similar one.  On reflection, my mother faced a great many challenges.  Raising a family and working outside of the home in the 1950’s and 1960’s when women were bombarded with media messages that their place was at home, could not have been easy for her. But I was too young and too involved with my own dilemmas to truly understand hers.

Then, when I was eleven, a neighbour began to notice me.  An adult, he was a close family friend.  My dad, my grandmother and my aunts all liked him.  As he was frequently in our house, he found me an easy target for his perversion.  Familiar with our household routines, he could easily determine when I would be home alone and thus vulnerable.

My autism contributed to my sense of helplessness in dealing with this neighbour’s twisted mind. 

The isolation I felt from my parents, the sense of being ‘wrong’ and not knowing how I was wrong.  The strict rule in our house that adults were always to be obeyed … I couldn’t sort out how I was supposed to alert others to this situation.

When I made tentative inroads into conversations about this problem, as with every other serious conversation I tried to have with adults, I was shut out. 

It was the 1950’s.  No one wanted to hear ‘that kind of thing’.

And, no-one knew about Autism, other than Hans Asperger in Germany and a few of his cohorts. We didn’t know about stimming, the social skills deficit or the neurology that would have unveiled my condition.  So I stood alone.

 I have been criticized for writing about this period in my life as I experienced it, rather than focusing more narrowly upon my autism. 

The social deficits were, and to some extent still are, real and pervasive. The sense of isolation, the astounding lack of connection to others.  Pleasure in solitude.  The foreign-ness of other people’s thought processes.

I cannot make up autistic traits.  I was different.  Socially awkward, and a loner.   That’s my truth.

And as an author who is autistic, the truth is the most powerful narrative I can offer you in a memoir. 

The sometimes horrifying, sometimes touching and sometimes humourous truths about what it was like to be socially challenged in the late fifties, early sixties, attempting to ward off a sexual predator while trying my best to figure out how to be normal in a world that seemed so completely foreign to me, is my story of growing up on the spectrum.

Unforgiving. The Memoir of an Asperger Teen is available on Kindle and in paperback through Amazon Books.  Read for yourself.  I told my truth.

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Writing on the Spectrum

Have you ever been bullied at school?  Teased in an unkind way?

Perhaps you tried to join in a conversation and the little knob of people you were addressing just kind of broke up and walked away. What does a person do with that?

For me, it became a memoir, a Kindle book called Unforgiving, Memoir of an Asperger’s Teen

I wrote about the incongruous juxtaposition of events in my teenaged life: the unpleasantness of being targeted by a child molester, dealing with an Asperger’s personality when no-one knew what that was, and getting the lead role in a National Film Board film.  Circumstances which in combination, isolated me from my family and my peers.  

My intention in writing this book was to illustrate how a series of events in a young teen’s life can create an overwhelming and pervasive sense of isolation from family and community.

Another Aspie, Tom Angleberger, has written an article on how Asperger’s powers his writing.  Angleberger is the author of a series of young adult books who uses unpleasant incidents from his school days as fodder for his plots.  Angleberger has published many books in which his knowledge of Star Wars along with embarrassing moments in his childhood create humorous adventures for his characters, always with positive conclusions.

Some of his titles include Darth Paper Strikes Back and Emperor Pickeltine Rides the Bus.  He combined his fascination with origami along with his love of writing to produce R2-D2’s Guide to Folding.  He currently has 52 books in print and nearly two hundred thousand reviews on Goodreads!

As for being autistic, Angleberger says the constant flow of words from his brain to his pen have helped him have a career he loves.

You can read more about this author at: https://origamiyoda.com/ or find his books on Amazon, or in bookstores.

That other autists like Kelly Brenner[i], a Seattle based naturalist who writes about urban nature, can become successful authors is not just a recent occurrence. A behavioral analysis site declares that historically, authors such as Emily Dickinson, Hans Christian Anderson and Lewis Carroll are thought to have been on the spectrum[ii].

 Interestingly, an American university research project published in July of 2020 indicated that autistic students out-performed their classmates in essay and project writing[iii]. The main issue for students with autism, the study findings suggest, is overcoming perfectionism.

Shauna Marie Henry[iv] writes to expose ‘the elephant in the room’.  She says having an Asperger’s viewpoint gives her stories a unique look at social conventions. 

For many of us, being an Aspie doesn’t smooth the pathway to a seamlessly successful social life.  At least not in our early lives.  But certain aspects of our condition, including our unique perceptions, our different ways of processing information, and our ability to find humour in the most socially disastrous circumstances, or even just to survive them, can be seen as positive attributes.  

For some, even fodder for a career we love. 


[i] https://www.theopennotebook.com/2018/10/09/writing-when-on-the-autism-spectrum/

[ii] https://www.appliedbehavioranalysisprograms.com/

[iii] Comparing the writing skills of autistic and nonautistic university students: A collaboration with autistic university students  Kristen Gillespie-LynchEmily HotezMatthew Zajic

[iv] https://writingcooperative.com/learning-to-write-with-aspergers-b1e0fe61b619

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Young Adult & Adult Aspies: Who Is In Charge of Your Life?

Margaret Jean's avatarMargaret Jean

Who will navigate us successfully through life to success?  To achieve the goals we set for ourselves?

Dr. Phil as he is commonly known, says it has to be us.  Nobody else. And he has developed a set of what he calls “Life Laws” which he has used to help many of his clients find their way out of seemingly hopeless situations.

In his book, Life Strategies: Doing What Works, Doing What Matters, Dr. Phillip McGraw stresses that what is vital is “…understanding and controlling the cause-and-effect relationships of life; in other words, using your knowledge to make things happen the way you want them to.”

That we are responsible for learning the social strategies that will get us where we want to go, is probably, as Aspies, the last thing we want to hear.

But whether or not you are familiar with Dr. Phil’s non-nonsense TV Show style of therapy, I…

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Flat Affect: The Flip Side

What if our Flat Affect has a ‘flip side’?

What if Flat Affect could even be a selective, evolutionary advantage?

Are Aspies perhaps actually more appropriately aligned to deal with the great variety of societal conflicts currently confronting the world?

I have been researching prosody[i] or the inflections, physical[ii] and vocal, that make up our conversations.  Numerous studies[iii] indicate that not all peoples interpret conversational inflections in the same way.

For instance, as a young man working in South America, my friend, Richard, realized that in some Chilean, Peruvian and Bolivian subcultures, it was not wise to show his teeth when smiling.  He found the baring of teeth could sometimes be mistaken for an aggressive attitude.

Research by psychologist Carlos Crivelli and anthropologist Sergio Jarillo (see references below) indicates that primitive societies often do not read facial expressions in the same way as European/North American cultures.  In fact, they found some of our ‘obvious’ expressions baffling.

Is the increased ‘mingling’ of previously geographically separate cultures, each of which has established its own distinctive non-verbal communication, less of a problem for us Aspies with our Flat Affect?

Does inscrutability lead to less misunderstanding of the distinctive facial ‘cues’ which neural typicals are confidently projecting?

Here’s a radical thought! What if our Flat Affect has advantages which outweigh its well–known disadvantages?

What if our lack of facial expression is not necessarily a negative quality?  Could it instead be a genetic variation which facilitates our participation in a global society?

We live in an increasingly internationally diverse culture.  Different facial expressions can send conflicting and sometimes even threatening messages, depending on the culture in which we find ourselves. Under those circumstances, wouldn’t Flat Affect be a good thing?

And consider this: so much of our current communication takes place on the internet where little or no facial expression is involved—emails, chat rooms, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. Are Aspies then the children of a world society where conversation is solely based on the verbal rather than on time-honored inflected conversation?

In a shrinking world where uniquely defined cultures more often ‘bump up’ against each other perhaps we are the best prepared to diffuse possible misunderstandings, rather than further igniting them!

[i] https://www.spectrumnews.org/news/social-communication-autism-explained

[ii] Facial Action Coding studies by Jennifer Fugate as reported in Malcolm Gladwell’s book Talking to Strangers pages 147 to 152.

[iii] Sergio Jarillo & Carlos Crivelli  as commented upon in Gladwell’s Talking to Strangers pg.154 to 159 and abstract from:

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2016-19236-001

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Challenges: Help For Aspie Anxiety

When your teacher or professor assigns homework, when your parents or your roommate ask you to clean up your room, or to look after some household chores—what’s up with that?

Perhaps your roomates want you to take responsibility for two meals a week.  Or maybe you’ve made a commitment to yourself to exercise three times a week or walk six blocks a day.

How can challenges that seem worrying actually help reduce anxiety?

Anxiety is a huge issue for many of us with Asperger’s.  There is no point in asking why we often see six thousand compounding facets in every single little incident in our lives, or why simple chores like washing the car or cleaning our rooms can morph into multi-day events.

 The question is, why would we challenge ourselves with any of these responsibilities at all?

The answer is simple.  By making demands of ourselves, and by disciplining ourselves to attempt to meet those demands, we give ourselves room and encouragement to grow.

By repeatedly doing simple manageable tasks we develop routines and a self-confidence which can serve us well when we encounter more complex issues.

When we attempt to accommodate another’s reasonable demands, we acquire and continually enhance the skill of determining exactly what is required of us.

And we practice discerning how best to initiate the task in the most efficient way so as to successfully complete it with the least stress … and perhaps even a certain degree of pleasure!

This translates into the essential life-skills of listening, comprehending, asking questions about the process when necessary, and successfully completing the task.

We are rewarded with the personal satisfaction which comes with the completion of any worthwhile accomplishment!

And the more that is asked of you, either by others or by yourself, the greater you will feel challenged.

But, the greater the challenge successfully met, the greater the personal satisfaction.

Challenges are not only necessary for our personal and professional growth, they are a fast-track to ensuring our lives remain interesting and fulfilling.

 

 

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Aspies: Flat Aspect–is this the Botox Experience?

When I read Carla Ciccone’s article in the September 7th edition of the Vancouver Sun, my first thought was welcome to an Aspie’s world, Carla!

When she had a Botox treatment to alleviate some of the wrinkles in her forehead, she lost the ability to express her feelings facially; something I immediately saw as the equivalent of an Aspie’s ‘flat aspect’.

Ciccone writes that she was proud of her ‘bitch’ face. The one with frown lines between dark brows and eyes that narrowed aggressively to a “hawk-like gaze”, a look which she used to express feelings ranging from confusion to rage.

She wanted people to know when she was angry.  And she conveyed that emotion through facial expression.  

But after her Botox treatment, “I was feeling a frown on the inside but my face reflected…serenity.” 

Could our Aspies’ ‘flat aspect’, or lack of facial mobility, be the equivalent of having frequent Botox treatments?

As an Aspie, I often have strong emotions that I do not express, either verbally or facially.  

I let the moment pass and try to sort out how I’m feeling and why.  Is it normal to have this feeling?  How can I express my emotional reaction without being offensive?  Sometimes it may take days for me to figure this out.  

In the meantime, those around me have no idea that I’m upset.  The only emotional barometer they have is linked to my speech patterns. 

I become more quiet than usual; contribute less to the conversation.  I have a less animated reaction to conversations–which is hard to detect as speaking in flat tones can often be my normal.

It occurs to me that if I follow Ciccone’s example and learn facial expressions to convey what I’m feeling, it will be easier for people to understand what’s going on with me in the moment, instead of hours or days later. 

This could be integral to successful socializing and a crucial component of being in a meaningful relationship.

Ciccone also writes:  Since nothing that I was going through in my inner world was visible externally, I began to feel a little bit dead inside.

How about it, Aspies?  Is this true for us, too?  Is ‘flat aspect’ or the lack of facial expression of emotion, a reason we sometimes find ourselves on the periphery of social life?  And do we need to change that?

However, having said that, there are obvious benefits to being an aspie with ‘flat aspect’.  As well as being inscrutable, look how much we can save on Botox treatments!!

 

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