Tag Archives: autism

Sep 09 2013
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writing on the Spectrum Aside

Conundrum

27 Tuesday Aug 2013:  A Guest Blog

Posted by  at http://annkilter.com/

When we began going to autism workshops and conferences, we found ourselves the subject of many sales pitches for the newest therapies that would produce miracles.

We also were sometimes pressured by parents in the local Autism Society to make a commitment to purchase a certain therapist’s services in order to “bring her to our community.” Enough parents had to participate in order to pay for her services to make it worth her while to come. Auditory integration training would cost $2,000 for a set number of therapy sessions. Music therapy was $100 an hour.

There were two problems with this.

First, we could not afford it. We were just scraping by as it was. Several options were presented – beg the money from our relatives, put it on a credit card, get a bank loan or a second mortgage on the house.

Second, which one of our children would we choose? Choosing them all was out of the question.Should we choose our gifted, disruptive autistic son or our quiet, multiply learning disabled autistic oldest daughter? Or our youngest, questionably autistic daughter? An impossible choice.

Therefore, we said no. As result, we were ostracized for not “participating for the good of all the children in the area.”

Instead, we chose to invent our own therapies out of ordinary life.

We listened to classical music in the house for our music therapy.

We were blessed by a piano teacher who was willing to try to teach my son. He enjoyed music, singing in tune with gusto. After a year, she noted that he had an aptitude for music. She taught him for 12 years. After that year, we ask her to teach our oldest daughter in order to improve her finger strength and coordination. I thought it might help her learn to hold a pencil. My youngest daughter wanted to do what her brother and sister did. This cost $10 a week per child – a pay as you go therapy.

We chose to take advantage of community subsidized speech and occupational therapy offered by Easter Seals and the Rehabilitation Hospital. These required small payments times three.

In spite of extended and persevering effort, learning to ride a bike did not happen. Instead, we found equestrian therapy – offered at a discount due to the generous donations of the community – also paying as we went. Our children were unable to ride a bike due to balance issues, but they were able to eventually learn to ride a horse independently.

These choices stretched us financially, sometimes heavily, but we made the sacrifices on a weekly, monthly basis.

Choices of “miracle therapies” with little proof of efficacy would have bankrupted us.

From Ann Kilter: Conundrum–Therapies That Worked For Us.

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May 08 2013
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Autism Spectrum

Need Help In BC? ACT: A Resource for Aspies, Parents & Friends.

Where do parents turn when they realize their child needs a diagnosis?  How do they know who offers this type of service?

What programs and supports does the BC school system offer children on the Autism spectrum?  How are these programs accessed?

How do you make sure your child is getting all the support the government says he/she is entitled to?

Is there a registry of autism service providers?  Is there an information database listing online resources?

In British Columbia, Canada, the answer to all of the above can be found in ACT: the Autism Community Training website at http://www.actcommunity.net/.

I only discovered the website this week, but find that it a huge resource for people struggling to find resources for children in the Autism spectrum.

News, blogs, videos and educational material relating to the autism spectrum are all included. While the website is geared to assisting parents with children in the spectrum, there are informative segments relating to adults as well.

A wide range of service providers are listed; really, the list is staggering in its comprehension.

If you live in BC and you are looking for an autism related resource, I strongly suggest you try this website.  Let me know what you think of the resources listed there, and if the phone and email responses live up to your expectations.

I look forward to hearing from you!

Yours truly,

Margaret Jean.

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Jan 09 2013
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Autism Spectrum, behaviours

The How-To Behind Friendship (Not Just For Aspies!)

Making friends and keeping friends: Research confirms these are two areas that seem to seriously challenge children with Asperger’s.

 So says Anna Matchneva, a lecturer and one-on-one counsellor who works closely with children on the autism spectrum and their parents.

Rejected:  This is a category of children Anna often sees.  She is not referring to parental neglect, but to the playground or social setting.

The rejected child is one who tries to join a group but is denied access.

Mostly we will never know why some people choose not to be friends with us.  But totally there are things we can do differently.

For instance, we might approach a group and start talking about whatever is on our mind when really?  We need to listen.  Try to pick up on what the others are saying.  Take a little time to formulate a brief remark in line with their conversation.  Don’t try to work in your current interest.  Stick to their conversation.

But hey, that’s easy to learn, right?  Just take a little time before speaking.  Listen.  Try to understand what they’re talking about.  Not just what they’re saying, but what they mean.

 We Aspies get a little starved for attention sometimes and that can make us talk too much, too loud, too soon.  But it’s easy enough to get over those habits.

I know myself, I have to be careful not to dive hell bent for leather into a topic, completely overwhelming and boring the people who were kind enough to invite me into the group.

And anyway, not every group wants another member.  They may be having a private conversation.  They may believe they have nothing in common with you, and therefore, not see any point in trying to make friends.  Maybe they are happy just as they are.  Then you need to find someone else to talk with.

Remember, your focus can be a very good thing, even if others don’t want to share in it.  It’s similar to the single-mindedness that made Taylor Swift a star and Bill Gates a computer mogul.

Try to listen first.  Take a minute or two to find out what the group and the conversation is about.  And when you do speak, smile, keep a neutral tone, and above all, be brief!

And please note–Aspies aren’t the only people in the world who have trouble making and keeping friends.  Lots of people do!

Yours truly,

Margaret Jean

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Feb 13 2012
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writing on the Spectrum

Asperger Traits? Really?

I love this video about Asperger’s traits: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7lQa3q_OAk&feature=related .  It seems to me to be thoughtfully put together.  But I am tired of hearing that Aspie’s have no empathy, and imaginary worlds are beyond us. 

In my book, Unforgiving, Memoir of An Asperger Teen, soon to be out on Amazon, I talk about the part imagination played in helping me through my childhood.

And why, if imagination is not our strong suit, are so many inventors, film makers, and landmark thinkers such as Isaac Newton, included (often posthumously) in the syndrome?  These are obviously people with foresight and the ability to envision possibilities that are beyond others’ comprehension.  

Difficulty with writing imaginatively?  Thinking?  I highly doubt it.  It is precisely the ability to see beyond their current limitations that made these people famous!

So what? you may say.  These people were not diagnosed, they are just presumed by some people to have Aspergers’ or Autistic tendencies.  

Well then let me give you the example of my grandson, who was diagnosed at an early age as being in the autism spectrum, and who, before he had graduated highschool, had written an entire book length story based in a science fiction fantasy world that he created.

As for empathy–It isn’t that we don’t experience empathy–it’s that our voices, faces and body language don’t show it.  We have what is called “flat affect”.  This makes us seem to have no response to events.  We also have little or no tonal expression (unless we’re in panic mode and often, even then!). 

Thus, it’s very difficult for people to grasp when we’re feeling anything.  Sometimes we might be totally panicking inside, or absolutely happy about a suggestion someone has made, but we don’t express this well.

I remember watching a woman exclaim expressively and happily about a suggestion her husband had made.  Asperger me, I thought her very melodramatic.   Seriously, I thought that sort of facial and tonal response belonged only on the stage!  

Undoubtedly some people who do not feel empathy and/or have trouble with imaginative thinking are in the Autism Spectrum.  Just as others who lack empathy and imagination, are not in the spectrum. 

Yours truly,

Margaret Jean.

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